If you are reading this because you need an
Officiant to serve at a funeral or memorial for a
loved one please let me offer my deepest
sympathy. These are difficult  and trying times
and if your loved one made no preparations for
his/her Last Journey then you are probably
very bewildered at all the decisions that have to
be made in a very short time and you wonder
how to honor someone you love while you are
still mourning the loss.
If you have no church home, and no pastor to
turn to, then let me be of service to you. I was
ordained many years ago and I have now an
Interfaith Ministry and can work with you to
suggest how to make the final celebration of
Life special and personal. My services
recognize and show respect for the unique
individual who has crossed over into the Land
of Eternal Light. The ceremony will also
honor those who are left behind, grieving and it
will give comfort to them.
Every situation is different and every individual
has beliefs, values and philosophies that no one
else has. I am not here to judge nor to impose
my own belief system upon others. I am simply
here to help you get through the pain and loss,
because I, too, have been through it. I will sit
with the family and listen and help you choose
readings and perhaps Scripture, if you wish,  as
well as music that will affirm the values of the
one who is now in Spirit. and which will be
appropriate for his personality and beliefs.
If you wish a simple service with no mention of
religion, that can be arranged. In any event,
your loved one will get the utmost respect and
dignity in a ceremony dedicated to their memory.
I will meet with you in your home, chapel,
funeral home or any other convenient spot to
gather information for a eulogy that will be a
warm and loving tribute. Friends and family may
wish to contribute to the services and I will
help to coordinate their participation.
The ceremony can be held where ever you
wish---church--chapel--funeral home--a
simple graveside service--a scattering of ashes,
etc, on a lake or whatever. After services you
will receive a beautiful keepsake copy of the
ceremony. It will be an uplifting and
life-centered service.
If you are wanting to plan your own funeral,
knowing that Death is the one thing that cannot
be avoided, then allow me to assist. One of the
most thoughtful gifts we can give our loved ones
is to plan our own after--death arramgements.
thereby sparing our families all the stress that  
can overwhelm them when death occurs. This
can also lessen the possibility that your family
will run up an enormous debt from decisions
they make while grieving. I can consult with
you about this final planning, give you
information about different funeral homes, the
types of services I have available and let you
decide what ceremonies you want.

Fees range from $50--$150 for consultations in
planning your services,  and from $150--$250
for actual  services at the funeral home or
graveside. But do not let finances keep you
from asking for help with a funeral or
memorial-----I will work with you for it is my
belief that every individual is entitled  to a final
Celebration of his/her Life and a beautiful ,
dignified funeral and I will turn no--one away
because of finances. So please ask about my
low-income discount.
Member  and  Coordinator Of
American Association of Funeral Officiants
www.americanassociationoffuneralofficiants.com



                   






































































                I Am  There---
                                 by Iris Hesselden

   "Look for me when the tide is high
     and the gulls are wheeling overhead,
When the Autumn wind sweeps the cloudy sky
   And one by one the leaves are shed;
   Look for me when the trees are bare
    and the stars are bright in the frosty sky,
 When the morning mist hangs on the air
          and shorter, darker days pass by.
      I am there where the river flows
      and salmon leap to a silver moon;
Where the insects hum and the tall grass grows
       and sunlight warms the afternoon.
     I am there in the busy street,
    I take your hand in the city square,
 In the market place where the people meet,
       In your quiet room-----I am there.
          I am the love you cannot see
       And all I ask is------look for me."




Do Not Stand At My Grave and W eep    
                                      By Mary Elizabeth Frye
( This beautiful poem also has music to it. and
was played at the funeral of my daughter in
2005. Several of these other poems were in her
funeral card, also.)

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there---I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle Autumn rain.

Do not stand at my grave and cry--
I am not there!  I did not die!

I am the song that will never end,
I am the love of family and friends.
I am the child who has come to rest
In the arms of the Father Who knows her best.
When you see the sunset fair,
I am the scented evening air.
I am the joy of a task well-done,
I am the glow of the setting sun.

Do not stand at my grave and cry!
I am not there. I did not die!!

When you awake in the morning's hush
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight.
I am the starshine of the night.
 I am the lovely flowers that bloom,
 I am there in a quiet room.
 I am in the birds that sing,
 I am in every lovely thing.

  Do not stand at my grave and weep---
 I am not there!  I do not sleep!!



           Remember Me

   To The Living I Am Gone,
  To The Sorrowful I Will Never  Return.
  To The Angry I Was Cheated,
  But To The Happy I Am At Peace.
   And To The Faithful I Have Never Left.
   I Cannot Speak But I Can Listen.
   I Cannot Be Seen But I can Be Heard.
   As You Look In Awe At The
   Mighty Forest And Its Grand Majesty
   Or Watch The Crandeur Of
               A Radiant Sunset----
                  Remember Me!!
   Remember  Me In Your Heart,
    Your Thoughts, And Your Memories
     Of The Times We Cried,
     The Times We Fought,
And The Times We Laughed And  Loved.
     For If You Alwaysx Think Of Me
     I Will Never Have Gone-----
     And I Will Live Forever!


           We Remember Her
                  The Jewish Reform Prayer Book

             "In the rising of the sun
                    and in its going down
                    We remember her.

           In the blowing of the wind
                  and in the chill of winter,
                    We remember her.

                In the opening of buds
             and in the warmth of summer
                 We remember her.

              In the rustling of leaves
               and in the beauty of Autumn,
                   We remember her.

            In the beginning of the year
                 and when it ends,
                 We remember her.

           She will never be forgotten!


               She's Gone
                                            By Victor Hugo
       I am standing upon that seashore,
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the             
  morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
   She is an object of beauty and strength,
   and I stand and watch her until at  length
     she hangs like a speck of white cloud
    just where the seand the sky come together
                to mingle with each other.
        Then someone at my side says:
               "There! She's gone!"
                     Gone where?
        Gone from my sight, that's all.
She is just as large in mast and spar and hull
    as ever she was when she left my side;
 just as able to bear her load of living freight
            to the place of her destination.
 The diminished size and total loss of sight
               is in me---not her.
             "There! She's gone!"
But there are other eyes watching her coming
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout.
                " Here she comes!"

               That Is Dying.


                Untitled
                                  By Henry Scott Holland

 "Death is nothing at all-----
I have only slipped away into the next room.
     I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
   Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
      Put no difference into your tone.
   Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes
         we enjoyed together.
       Play, smile, think of me.
Let my name be ever the household name
               that it always was.
  Let it be spoken without effort,
Without the ghost of a shadow on it..
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it always was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
   Why should I be out of mind
       because I am out of sight?
 I am waiting for you for an interval
               somewhere very near-----
             Just around the corner.
            All Is Well.


        Rules For My Funeral
                                  By Susan Statzky

At my funeral there will be plenty of wastebaskets.
For people will cry and noses will run
and hands full of gooey tissues is disgusting .

At my funeral, laughter should reign,
and chuckle comfort.
There's humor in my flaws,
so tell amusing tales with gusto.
People may wear jeans to my funeral.  I intend to.
With my favorite flannel shirt and thick woolen socks.
        Forget the bra.
Traditional in life, let me be different in death.
No hypocrites may come to my funeral.
Make no room for the self-righteous and judgemental.
I'd rather have strangers--or no-one at all.
            So come if you loved me.

                       Hated me?
   Welcome.  Make sure I'm gone.

At my funeral,  platitudes and panaceas are banned.
              I am dead.
    There is no silver lining.
Except for those I leave money to.
Surround me with purple and yellow flowers.
        Greens in exotic baskets.
   But just a few spectacular pieces.
Then feed the hungry or cure a disease.
           In my name, of course.
     Play joyous music at my funeral.
Songs with rising crescendos or haunting melodies..
Refrains that stick in your head, repeating  endlessly.
"Ding Dong, the witch is dead."   No, not that one.
Please don't say, "she looks so natural."
No-one says it to me now.   Be honest.
Apologize  for times you done me wrong.
I forgive you.  Please forgive me.
Now go and live better than before.
At my funeral there will be no preaching.
Pomposity is forbidden, no performances, please.
Save it for the Sunday Service.

In Life, God was my friend, my sustainer.
He was there when all you weren't. Or couldn't be.
We were so intimate, we spoke in the shower.
I had great insights, nude and soapy.
     So speak of my faith.
And that I'm dancing with him now.
      And leave it at that.


             
    Life Must Go On-----
                       A Navaho Prayer

    Grieve for me, for I would grieve for you.
   Then brush away the sorrow and the tears.
   Life is not over, but begins anew,
    with courage you must meet the coming years.
   To live forever in the past is wrong,
     It can only cause you misery and pain.
    Dwell not on memories overlong,
    with others you must share and care again.
    Reach out and comfort those who comfort you,
    Recall the years, but only for a while.
    Nurse not your loneliness but live again.
     Forget not. Remember with a smile.


        Untitled---Author Unknown

          If I should die and leave you here awhile,
         Be not like others, sore undone,
who keep  long vigils by the silent dust, and weep.
         For my sake, turn again to life, and smile,
          nerving thy heart and trembling, hard to do
   Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine;
         complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine,
         and I, perchance, may therein comfort yo


                   A Butterfly

         A butterfly lights beside us
                like a sunbeam
           and for a brief moment
          its  glory and its beauty
              belong to our world.
         But then it flies on again.
 And though we wish it could have stayed,
        we feel so lucky to have seen it.


       Life Is A Journey
Birth is a beginning and Death a destination
           But Life is a Journey.
           a going------a growing.
            From stage to stage,
     From childhood  to maturity,                                    
             And  youth to age.
       From innocence to awareness.                             
         and ignorance to knowing,
       From foolishness to discretion,
        and then, perhaps to wisdom.
      From weakness to strength,
           or strength to weakness
           and, often, back again.
  From health to sickness and back, we pray,
                 to health again.
    From offense to forgiveness,
    From loneliness to Love,
     From joy to gratitude,                
     From pain to compassion,
      and grief to understanding.
      From fear to faith,                  
From defeat to defeat to defeat
 until---looking backward or ahead,
     we see that Victory lies
not as some high place along the way
but in having made the Journey,
            stage by stage,
  A Sacred Pilgramage.
Birth is a brginning and Death a destination,
        but Life is a Journey,
       A Sacred Pilgiimage,
         made stage by stage
       to Life Everlasting



                            
                

            










             




     

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