There have been many times when a Bridal Couple meets
with an Officiant and gets very upset when they learn what a
ceremony costs and one can hear them yell about the
expensive fees from a mile away! So perhaps it might be helpful
to explain why we charge what we do.
Let's consider, first of all, some of the things an Officiant does,
and the work that is involved.
Weddings today are much more complicated and elaborate than
they were even a decade ago. Most people only a generation ago
belonged to a church or religious organization and they usually
had their wedding officiated by their own pastor or minister who
had a set ceremony allowed by their church.
These days many couples choose to marry outside their
childhood faith or they may marry someone of a different faith or
culture. They might ask the pastor of a church to perform their
ceremony but if they're not members of the church or haven't
attended for a while, they' re likely to get turned down. An
even larger number of people no longer attend regular church
services at all. And as time goes by there is more of a focus on
romance with the bridal couples wanting more and more
elaborate or themed weddings, perhaps in a garden or on a
beach-----some even choose to jump out of an airplane or have
a wedding underwater. Many pastors are uncomfortable with the
idea of non-traditional ceremonies and balk at these requests.
This is where an independent Officiant comes into play. Many
of us are also members of the clergy, such as myself, with
interfaith beliefs that are open and tolerant. So we are a great
alternative for couples that can't, for various reasons, have their
wedding in a specific church,
When a bride begins to plan her wedding, usually the first thing
she thinks of is "The Gown." Like many girls she has
probably played dress-up as a child and has dreamed of a
fairy-tale gown for many years. So now she's engaged and can
really plan her Dream Wedding. The gown is probably first
on her list. She begins to shop around, looking for bargains. She
wants a good deal but also knows she'll get what she pays for so
she might be ready to fork over $1,000, $2,000, even $3000 or
more. And, of course, there's the veil, the tiara, the
shoes---everything she will need to look like a Princess on her
wedding day! That could run another $1000 or so right there,
And what about photos? If they don't mind a family member
taking their wedding photos with a digital camera then they
might get away with a $100 or less. But most couples want
professional photos that look as such. And they do not come
cheap. Expect to pay $1000 or more for a good photographer.
And what about a cake? If the couple wants a fantastic one
beautifully decorated, they're looking at several hundred dollars.
And, of course, there are the gowns for the female members of
the bridal party. Even the cheapest gowns can set a bride back.
The couple can probably save a bit on tuxedos for the men since
they can be rented but if they want them custom made, or in
specific colors, that can get expensive, too.
Flowers? Depends on what you're willing to settle for. Fresh
ones are not going to be cheap. Artificial ones can look nice, and
be kept permanently, and family members can assist you in
making the bouquets but materials can be very expensive, too,
especially when you make not only your own bouquet but also
that of the Maid of Honor, bridesmaids and flower girl, too
And the time that's involved will sometimes make you wish
you had never started it in the first place! And let's not forget
the music. A tape recorder or CD player can be a nice,
inexpensive way to go but if you have your heart set on a
violinist, string quartet, vocalist, pianist or DJ, you're looking
at big bucks. Then there is the reception, caterer, and
decorations. The average couple can easily spend several
thousand dollars to have their dream wedding-------many do,
and never bat an eyelash!
But when it comes to hiring an Officiant to make that dream
come true there is almost always a pause followed by the
question: "$300 ( or $500, maybe more depending on what is
asked of the Officiant ) just for 25 minutes to pronounce us
husband and wife?" Never mind that they probably waited until
practically the last minute to hire an Officiant, expecting to find
one waiting just for them when that's the first thing they should
have done. Now they've spent most of their budget on the
aforementioned items and they want an Officiant for the price
of $100 or less.
What a couple should consider is what's really involved in an
Officiant's services:
We give in-person consultations, at least once, but more often
many times despite what the contract might say, each
consultation lasting an hour or so each time to assist them in
planning----if asked we can do premarital counseling, also
.
Then there are e-mails and phone calls, which can take up
several hours, and the Officiant has to pay for internet and
phone service. And this is just in the planning stages.
Now comes the ceremony. Most of us spend hours writing,
researching and brainstorming with other officiants to bring the
loveliest ceremonies to a couple for them to look at and choose
from---and we usually have a large portfolio of many different
ones. Even the traditional ones have different versions. The
Bridal Couple may want to write their own vows but that isn't
all there is to it. The Officiant still has to put it all together in a
meaningful way. He/She has to compose, prepare and transcribe
the ceremony, which can take several hours, proofread it, then
send it to the couple to look at. Then there may be revisions
and changes to make before a final approval is given. If a couple
receives a keepsake copy of the ceremony that has to be created,
typed, printed and put together, and most officiants do this in a
very romantic fashion for their brides, with ribbons and special
papers ( all at no additional fees, regardless of the cost.)
Many of us include personalized marriage certificates, which can
take a lot of time to create. We have to coordinate the schedules
of all the participants in the wedding, rehearse them at some
point especially if the Bridal Party is a large one. All of this
has probably taken up 15--20 hours or more just creating,
putting everything together and meeting with everyone concerned.
Many officiants have their own family and very likely have
young children and must arrange for their care while they're busy
doing all this creating or performing the ceremony itself.
Sometimes we work far into the night on our " business."
There is transportation to and from the rehearsal and/or
wedding, which has to be calculated. There is travel time itself.
Many of us are willing to go beyond our city to assist a bride
and do her ceremony but we may ask for extra fees for travel.
Besides gas these days certainly isn't cheap!.
Then many of us have to wait around before the ceremony for
the Bridal Party to be ready. We have to calm all those who
are on the verge of breaking down and calling it "quits." We
have to be diplomatic and work well with all the other wedding
professionals as well as the family members from a bossy mom
to a drunken cousin.
We have to be ready for any emergency and deal with it from a
bride or bridesmaid accidentally tearing her gown, a hairdo that
falls apart, a photographer, caterer or florist who is late arriving
to an unexpected rainstorm. A wedding is a breeding ground for
any emergency or mistake---think Murphy's Law! And the
ceremony itself can be touchy from a ring bearer becoming
frightened and running in the opposite direction to a small flower
girl falling down.
We have to make sure the State marriage license is filled out
correctly and signed then it has to be mailed or hand delivered to
the town clerk within a certain time-frame and there is a lot of
other paperwork to be done, plus expenses for stamps, envelopes,
paper, computer ink, etc. And many officiants are now sending
the licenses in by certfied mail so they don't get lost---at their
own expense.
We have expenses for advertising and marketing, and there is
time involved pursuing these things. We have ceremonial robes
that do not come cheaply. We have to constantly update our
ceremonies and web pages. We have to read and study and stay
current with our professions as a member of the clergy and a
wedding officiant.
And ,of course, there's the loss of time with our families. So
when you look at the prices an Officiant charges, consider
yourself lucky they aren't twice as much You are getting a
Professional at really reasonable prices. If broken down into
hourly fees you could be paying $2000 and more for the services
received. Of course you might find one that's very cheap but
remember---you get what you pay for. If you want an
experienced, skilled Officiant who can give you your dream
ceremony, you must be willing to pay that person what he or she
is worth. Most of us are willing to help a bride on a budget but
if you can pay thousands of dollars for the other trimmings, then
you should think of what you are getting from your officiant!
15 minutes of work? Think again---and let's face it: you can
get married without the gown, photos, flowers, reception, etc.
But you cannot get legally married without an Officiant.
August 2006
with an Officiant and gets very upset when they learn what a
ceremony costs and one can hear them yell about the
expensive fees from a mile away! So perhaps it might be helpful
to explain why we charge what we do.
Let's consider, first of all, some of the things an Officiant does,
and the work that is involved.
Weddings today are much more complicated and elaborate than
they were even a decade ago. Most people only a generation ago
belonged to a church or religious organization and they usually
had their wedding officiated by their own pastor or minister who
had a set ceremony allowed by their church.
These days many couples choose to marry outside their
childhood faith or they may marry someone of a different faith or
culture. They might ask the pastor of a church to perform their
ceremony but if they're not members of the church or haven't
attended for a while, they' re likely to get turned down. An
even larger number of people no longer attend regular church
services at all. And as time goes by there is more of a focus on
romance with the bridal couples wanting more and more
elaborate or themed weddings, perhaps in a garden or on a
beach-----some even choose to jump out of an airplane or have
a wedding underwater. Many pastors are uncomfortable with the
idea of non-traditional ceremonies and balk at these requests.
This is where an independent Officiant comes into play. Many
of us are also members of the clergy, such as myself, with
interfaith beliefs that are open and tolerant. So we are a great
alternative for couples that can't, for various reasons, have their
wedding in a specific church,
When a bride begins to plan her wedding, usually the first thing
she thinks of is "The Gown." Like many girls she has
probably played dress-up as a child and has dreamed of a
fairy-tale gown for many years. So now she's engaged and can
really plan her Dream Wedding. The gown is probably first
on her list. She begins to shop around, looking for bargains. She
wants a good deal but also knows she'll get what she pays for so
she might be ready to fork over $1,000, $2,000, even $3000 or
more. And, of course, there's the veil, the tiara, the
shoes---everything she will need to look like a Princess on her
wedding day! That could run another $1000 or so right there,
And what about photos? If they don't mind a family member
taking their wedding photos with a digital camera then they
might get away with a $100 or less. But most couples want
professional photos that look as such. And they do not come
cheap. Expect to pay $1000 or more for a good photographer.
And what about a cake? If the couple wants a fantastic one
beautifully decorated, they're looking at several hundred dollars.
And, of course, there are the gowns for the female members of
the bridal party. Even the cheapest gowns can set a bride back.
The couple can probably save a bit on tuxedos for the men since
they can be rented but if they want them custom made, or in
specific colors, that can get expensive, too.
Flowers? Depends on what you're willing to settle for. Fresh
ones are not going to be cheap. Artificial ones can look nice, and
be kept permanently, and family members can assist you in
making the bouquets but materials can be very expensive, too,
especially when you make not only your own bouquet but also
that of the Maid of Honor, bridesmaids and flower girl, too
And the time that's involved will sometimes make you wish
you had never started it in the first place! And let's not forget
the music. A tape recorder or CD player can be a nice,
inexpensive way to go but if you have your heart set on a
violinist, string quartet, vocalist, pianist or DJ, you're looking
at big bucks. Then there is the reception, caterer, and
decorations. The average couple can easily spend several
thousand dollars to have their dream wedding-------many do,
and never bat an eyelash!
But when it comes to hiring an Officiant to make that dream
come true there is almost always a pause followed by the
question: "$300 ( or $500, maybe more depending on what is
asked of the Officiant ) just for 25 minutes to pronounce us
husband and wife?" Never mind that they probably waited until
practically the last minute to hire an Officiant, expecting to find
one waiting just for them when that's the first thing they should
have done. Now they've spent most of their budget on the
aforementioned items and they want an Officiant for the price
of $100 or less.
What a couple should consider is what's really involved in an
Officiant's services:
We give in-person consultations, at least once, but more often
many times despite what the contract might say, each
consultation lasting an hour or so each time to assist them in
planning----if asked we can do premarital counseling, also
.
Then there are e-mails and phone calls, which can take up
several hours, and the Officiant has to pay for internet and
phone service. And this is just in the planning stages.
Now comes the ceremony. Most of us spend hours writing,
researching and brainstorming with other officiants to bring the
loveliest ceremonies to a couple for them to look at and choose
from---and we usually have a large portfolio of many different
ones. Even the traditional ones have different versions. The
Bridal Couple may want to write their own vows but that isn't
all there is to it. The Officiant still has to put it all together in a
meaningful way. He/She has to compose, prepare and transcribe
the ceremony, which can take several hours, proofread it, then
send it to the couple to look at. Then there may be revisions
and changes to make before a final approval is given. If a couple
receives a keepsake copy of the ceremony that has to be created,
typed, printed and put together, and most officiants do this in a
very romantic fashion for their brides, with ribbons and special
papers ( all at no additional fees, regardless of the cost.)
Many of us include personalized marriage certificates, which can
take a lot of time to create. We have to coordinate the schedules
of all the participants in the wedding, rehearse them at some
point especially if the Bridal Party is a large one. All of this
has probably taken up 15--20 hours or more just creating,
putting everything together and meeting with everyone concerned.
Many officiants have their own family and very likely have
young children and must arrange for their care while they're busy
doing all this creating or performing the ceremony itself.
Sometimes we work far into the night on our " business."
There is transportation to and from the rehearsal and/or
wedding, which has to be calculated. There is travel time itself.
Many of us are willing to go beyond our city to assist a bride
and do her ceremony but we may ask for extra fees for travel.
Besides gas these days certainly isn't cheap!.
Then many of us have to wait around before the ceremony for
the Bridal Party to be ready. We have to calm all those who
are on the verge of breaking down and calling it "quits." We
have to be diplomatic and work well with all the other wedding
professionals as well as the family members from a bossy mom
to a drunken cousin.
We have to be ready for any emergency and deal with it from a
bride or bridesmaid accidentally tearing her gown, a hairdo that
falls apart, a photographer, caterer or florist who is late arriving
to an unexpected rainstorm. A wedding is a breeding ground for
any emergency or mistake---think Murphy's Law! And the
ceremony itself can be touchy from a ring bearer becoming
frightened and running in the opposite direction to a small flower
girl falling down.
We have to make sure the State marriage license is filled out
correctly and signed then it has to be mailed or hand delivered to
the town clerk within a certain time-frame and there is a lot of
other paperwork to be done, plus expenses for stamps, envelopes,
paper, computer ink, etc. And many officiants are now sending
the licenses in by certfied mail so they don't get lost---at their
own expense.
We have expenses for advertising and marketing, and there is
time involved pursuing these things. We have ceremonial robes
that do not come cheaply. We have to constantly update our
ceremonies and web pages. We have to read and study and stay
current with our professions as a member of the clergy and a
wedding officiant.
And ,of course, there's the loss of time with our families. So
when you look at the prices an Officiant charges, consider
yourself lucky they aren't twice as much You are getting a
Professional at really reasonable prices. If broken down into
hourly fees you could be paying $2000 and more for the services
received. Of course you might find one that's very cheap but
remember---you get what you pay for. If you want an
experienced, skilled Officiant who can give you your dream
ceremony, you must be willing to pay that person what he or she
is worth. Most of us are willing to help a bride on a budget but
if you can pay thousands of dollars for the other trimmings, then
you should think of what you are getting from your officiant!
15 minutes of work? Think again---and let's face it: you can
get married without the gown, photos, flowers, reception, etc.
But you cannot get legally married without an Officiant.
August 2006
About My Fees
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