Special
Ceremonies
Ceremonies
(These are samples of some of the Special Ceremonies
that a Bridal Couple can incorporate into their wedding,
and each one can be modified to suit the needs and desires
of the couple.)
The Rose Ceremony
The Rose Ceremony is a beautiful symbol of
a couple's love and willingness to fully commit
themselves and work together to preserve their
marriage. It can be done with any color of rose
but, usually, it will be with a red or white rose.
It can be just an exchange of roses or the
bride can present the groom with a vase of
water in which to place the rose he gives to her.
The following is the basic ceremony in which
the couple exchanges roses.
1---
Officiant:
"One gift to each other for your wedding today is your
wedding rings, which shall always be an outward
demonstration of your vows of love and respect, and a
public showing of your commitment to each other.
You will acquire what remains the most honorable title
which may exist between a man and a woman----the title
of husband and wife. But you will be giving another gift
to each other today, a gift to recognize your new titles: the
gift of a single rose.
In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love, and
a single rose always meant only one -----it meant "I
Love You." So it is appropriate that your gift to each
other as husband and wife should be a single rose.
---------and-----, please exchange roses."
( Bride and Groom give each other a single
rose.)
Officiant continues:
"In some ways it may seem like you have not done
anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one
single rose----and now you are holding one single
rose.A marriage ceremony is very similar in this way.
Tomorrow may seem no different than yesterday. But in
fact, today you have both given and received one of the
most valuable and precious gifts of life, one I hope you
will always remember, the gift of true and abiding love
within the devotion of marriage.
-------and-------, I would ask that where ever
you make your home in the future, whether it be a large
and elegant home, or a small and graceful one, that you
both pick one very special location for roses. On each
anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may
take a rose to that spot, both as a re-commitment of your
marriage and a re-commitment that this will always be a
marriage based on love.
In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to
find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most
love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love.
It might be difficult sometimes to find words to say "I am
sorry."
"I forgive you, please forgive me," "I need you," or "I
am hurting." If this should happen, if you simply cannot
find these words, then leave a rose in the spot which both
of you have selected, for that rose then says what matters
most of all and which should overpower all other things,
and all other words. That rose says the words" "I still
love you." The other person should accept this rose for the
words which can not be found, and remember the love and
hope that you both share today.
---and---, if there is any thing you remember of this
marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you
here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious
union, and it is by love which your marriage should endure.
2---:
In this version the Groom gives a rose to his
Bride who is holding a vase of water in which
the rose is placed and they speak special vows
to each other. After the Officiant says :
:it is appropriate that your gift to each other as
husband and wife should be a single rose,
he/she says to Groom:
Please repeat after me:
(Bride)---- I give you this rose. Because it grew
from a tiny seed, becoming stronger and larger until it
burst into flower, it symbolizes the way my love for you
has grown. (He gives her the rose) Each year on
our wedding anniversary, I will give you another rose. I
so doing, I'll remember this day and renew the vows
we've made to each other.
Bride: -------I give to you this vase of water.
(Groom takes it and holds it) Because water is
the one element without which we would perish, it
symbolizes the importance of your love in my life. Each
year on our anniversary, I will refill this vase, offering it
to you as a symbol of my ever renewing love.
(Bride puts the rose into the vase of water and
they then hold the vase together.)
Groom: Without water, the rose would die.
Bride: Without the rose, the vase of water would not
be as beautiful.
Groom: My gift is enhanced by yours, just as my life
is enhanced by you.
Bride: My gift is lovely because of yours, just as my
life is better because of you.
Officiant: On each anniversary, as you give and receive
the rose and water, remember with joy this day when you
pledged your love and your lives to each other. May this
be only the first of many cherished traditions in a home
filled with happiness.
3:---
White Rose Ceremony
(A Red Rose can also be used)
(This ceremony can be used as your marriage vows to
each other. )
Groom hands the Bride a long stemmed white rose and
says:
"-------take this rose as a symbol of my love. It began
as a tiny bud and blossomed, just as my love for you has
grown and blossomed."
The Bride places the rose into a bud vase filled with
water and says:
"I take this rose as a symbol of your love and I place it
into water, a symbol of life. For just as this rose cannot
survive without water, so I cannot survive without you."
Groom:
"-------, in remembrance of this day, I will give you a
white rose each year on our anniversary as a reaffirmation
of my love and the vows spoken here today."
Bride:
"And I will refill this vase with water each year ready
to receive your gift, in reaffirmation of the new life you
have given me and the vows spoken here today."
(Bride and Groom join hands around the rose--filled
vase)
Groom:
"And so, this rose will be a symbolic memory of my
commitment to you this hour; I vow to be a faithful
husband to you, to comfort you, honor you, respect you and
cherish you all the days of my life."
Bride:
"And I commit myself to you, to be a faithful wife, to
comfort you, honor you, respect you, and cherish you all
the days of my life.'
(Any combination of vows can be substituted for the above
vows.)
4-----
Mother's Rose Presentation
Officiant:
Marriage is a coming together of two lives, and a
celebration of the love of two people, but it is more than
that. The love that (Groom) and (Bride) feel for one
another is the flowering of a seed their parents planted in
their hearts years ago. As they embrace one another in
their love, so do they embrace the families who have been
brought together on this happy occasion. As a sign of
love for their families
(Groom) and (Bride) would like to offer these symbols
of eternal love to their mothers,
-----------and-------.These roses are a promise to
them, and to their fathers, that no matter how far apart you
may be, that you are not and will not be, forgotten; a
reminder that you are always in their thoughts and prayers
and they will always love, honor and respect you.
Unity Candle Ceremonies
( For a long time, humanity has used
candles as visual reminders of
non--physical values such as a
marriage relationship. using the flame
from two burning candles to light a new
single candle is a gentle and simple
reminder to all present that a new, very
important relationship has been created.
A candle is used in churches to
represent life. The candle flame is an
emblem of Life---the life God gives
us, the influence of a life lingering on
Earth beyond their death---the passing
of life from one person to another, as the
Olympics uses a torch to pass the
Light on. A Unity Candle perfectly
symbolizes the beginning of the "One"
life by two individuals being joined
together in marriage. The follwing
paragraphs are some samples of
different Unity Candle Ceremonies
which can, of course, be modified to suit
the needs of the Bridal Couple.)
1:
"From every human being there rises a light that reaches
straight to heaven. And when two souls are destined to
find each other their two streams of light flow together and
a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.
They do not lose their individuality, yet in marriage they
are united in so close a bond that they become one. Now,
following the profession of their vows,-------and----will
light the large center candle from the smaller candles to
symbolize this new reality. In this way they are saying
that henceforth their light must shine together for each
other, for their families and for their community.
2:
:-------and----, you have just sealed your relationship by
the giving and receiving of rings and by the joining of
hands. You have committed here today to share the rest of
your lives together. This beautiful union is symbolized by
the lighting of the Unity Candle.
This candle is a Candle of Marriage. Its fire is
magical because it represents the light of two people in
love.
This candle before you is a Candle of Commitment
because it takes two people working together to keep it
aflame.
It is also a candle of Unity because both must come
together, giving a spark of themselves to create the new
light.,
Life is lika a flame. It has its own warmth and its own
brilliance. But it is in the union of two that something
brighter, warmer and more beautiful takes place.
Now,-----and----, please light the center candle to
symbolize the union of your lives.
As you have lit the candle today, may the brightness of
the flame shine throughout your lives. May the radiance
of this One Light be a testimony of your unity.
May it burn brightly as a symbol of your committment to
each other.
May it give you courage and reassurance in the darkness,
warmth and safety in the cold, and strength and joy in your
bodies, minds and spirits.
The life that each of you experienced now, individually,
will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall
become one. May your union be forever blessed.
3:
Today, ------amd----come here from two different
families. Out of these two families, a new family will be
created by the grace of our Father/Mother God. At this
time I would invite the parents of -----and----to come
forward and light the individual candles which represent
the two separate families. The two individual flames, one
representing each family, will demonstrate to us in a very
beautiful way, the symbol of two which become one. From
now on they will grow together as unique personalities
become a light to the world.
4:
Now we have a ceremony of spiritual symbolism.
Ancient teachers say that for each of us, there is a candle,
a symbol of our own inner light, but that no one can kindle
his or her own candle. Each of us needs someone else to
kindle it for us. When two people fall in love, they light
each other's candles, creating great light and joy and
glorious expectations.
Now,----and----, I'd like you to remember when it was
in your relationship that you first realized you were truly
in love and wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.
And holding that thought-------;
(Officiant picks up a candle and hands it to the Groom)
"----, take this candle, symbol of the inner light in
(Bride). Lit by the Eternal Light, with the dedication
to rekindle it again amd again, whenever necessary.
(Officiant gives the next candle to Bride with same
words.)
Officiant:
"With these candles, we can see how to achieve a
beautiful marriage. In your marriage, you will try to
bring these lights, the symbol of yourselves, closer and
closer to each other until they become one, (Bride and
Groom join the flames of their candles together) a great
torch of light, a radiant symbol of love, joy, peace and
harmony. (They continue to hold the flames together)
This is the mystery of two becoming one.
Yet, it is vitally important to remember that there are
always really two in a marriage (Officiant pulls their
hands apart, dividing the flames.) each with his or her own
desires, yearnings, dreams and wishes. And these must be
respected and responded to with great love, with great
compassion and with genuine tenderness. As you now
light the center candle together, remember always this day
and keep the Marriage Candle lit within your hearts so
that your home will be a place of radiant light, great joy,
peace and harmony and much love.
5:
"The Scripture tells us that Life is like a flame; it has
its own warmth, and its own brilliance, but it's in the
union of two souls that something brighter, warmer, more
wonderful takes place.
You have chosen the Unity Candle as a symbol of your
love and life to come, and the lighting of this candle
signifies that you are now two in one flesh.
The mothers of the Bride and Groom have already lit
the two smaller candles which symbolize the fate and life
they have shared with their children till now.
I now ask -----and----to light the Unity Candle with
those two separate candles."
(They do so, then blow out the flame on the Mother's
candles, returning them to their respective holders.)
Officiant:
"Please join hands and repeat after me these beautiful
words of the Song of Ruth:
"Entreat me not to leave thee,
nor to return from following after thee.
For whither thou goest, I will go.
Whither thou lodgest I will lodge.
Thy people shall be my people and thy God my God.
Whither thou diest, will I die,
and there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me and more also,
if ought but death part thee and me.
6:
"Today, ----and----make a loving committment to
follow the greatest commandment of all: Love one
another as I have loved you.
They do this in hopes that their union will be a symbol of
God's promise to merge two lives into one.
The two distinct flames represent your lives to this
moment, individual and unique. As you light the center
candle together, the entwined flames symbolize your two
lives joined in dependence and growing maturity. Your
plans will be mutual, your joys and sorrows will be
shared alike. We bless this joining of two lives into one in
the Name of the Holy Trinity."
( If Bride and Groom have children that are old
enough, have them light the individual candles, either
before the ceremony or just before the parents are to light
the Marriage Candle or have them help light the
Marriage Candle with the parents.This will make them
feel a part of things. They can also be given rings or
medallions and asked if they accept the Bride or Groom
as their parent, and the B&G can be asked to accept
them as their own children.
Officiant can also say: "The lighting of the center candle
represents not only the union of ----and----im Marriage
but the Unity formed iby this new family in which your
lives will now shine as one family."
7:
Universal Spirit Unity Candle Ceremony
AS the Bride and Groom light the Marriage Candle
the Officiant recites this poem:
"Soft mists embrace two golden flames,
Alone they search the night,
Two souls adrift in dreams of love,
They seek to claim the Light.
The path is long from which they came,
but sure they are it's right;
Two flames embrace in dreams of love,
Two souls---two hearts unite."
(This can be used in any of the above ceremonies.)
8:
"---and---, the two lighted candles symbolize your
separate lives, your separate families, your separate sets of
friends. I ask that you each take one candle and that
together you light the center candle, which is the Candle
of Marriage.
The individual candles represent your lives before today.
Lighting the center candle says that your two lives are
now joined to one light and it represents the joining
together of your two families and sets of friends to become
one."
9:
And now, let us participate in another symbolic act. Life
is full of many such actions that speak to us of a deeper
meaning that we cannot always put into words.
You have used ancient symbols in this wedding
service----the exchange of rings, the clasping of hands, the
bearing of flowers. By such things you act instead of
speak in regard to your promises.
Now, each of you will take a candle, and together you
will light the larger candle. This is a vivid reminder that
in true marriage, our lives are merged, even as we remain
individuals. This is a symbolic prayer that God will
enhance your own personhood and bless your uniqueness
as individuals---and that God will also make of your
hands, one hand; of your hearts, one heart, and of your
lives, one life.
10:
Family Unity Candle
It is only out of families that new families emerge.
Today the family candles of the Bride and Groom that
burn in our midst symbolize thair separate lives, and they
come to this moment from their two families, and the new
emerges from the old---the present from the past.
I ask that the parents of the Bridal Couple each take one
of the lit candles, along with your children, and that
together all of you light the other center candle. This
represents that your two lives are now joined as one, and it
also represents the joining together of your two families as
one. As they move together, they form a new light---the
Light of their Union---it burns separately but not alone.
From now on, your thoughts shall be for each other rather
than for your individual selves. Your joys and sorrows
shall be shared as one as these two families are blended
together. Today a new family candle begins its glow.
Blending Of The Sands
(The Sand Ceremony is similar to the Unity Candle in
that it symbolizes two individual lives becoming one in
Marriage. The Bride and Groom can purchase different
colored sand along with an empty vial or vase that has a
way to be sealed afterwards. The ceremony consists of
them slowly pouring their own particular color of sand
into the empty vial together, the blending signifying their
unity. Some couple like to have the Officiant pour a small
layer of white sand on the bottom of the vial before they
blend their own colors, then Officiant pours another
small layer over the blended sands. If children are
involved in the ceremony they can each have a different
color and take turns pouring theirs into the vial before the
couple do theirs, to signify the blending of the two families.
The vial of the blended sands can then be put in a place of
honor in their home to ever remind them of their vows.
The following excerpts are samples of the different words
that can be used by the Officiant during the ceremonies.
And, again, all these ceremonies can be modified as the
couple wishes. Or parts of several ceremonies can be used
together. It is also nice to have the vials of sand
surrounded by sea shells. Some shells can be used to
blend the sands together.)
1:
"---and---, today you are making a life-long commitment
to share the rest of your lives with each other. Your
relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these
individual containers of sand: one representing the you
(Bride) and all that you were, all that you are, and all
that you will ever be; the other represents you, (Groom),
and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you
will ever be.
As you each hold your sand, the separate containers of
sand represent your lives to this moment, individual and
unique. As you now combine your sand together, your
lives also join together as one.
You may now blend the sand together, symbolizing the
uniting of the Bride and Groom into one. Just as these
grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into
the individual containers, so will your marriage be."
2:
"Today, ---and---, you are making a commitment of your
eternal love for one another. As you each hold your sand,
know that the separate containers of sand represent your
lives to this moment, individual and unique. As you now
combine your sand together, your lives also join together
as one."
3:
"----and----,you have just sealed your relationship by the
giving and receiving of rings and the exchange of a kiss,
and this covenant is a relationship pledge between two
people who agree that they will commit themselves to one
another throughout their lives. The most beautiful
example of a partnership is the marriage relationship.
You have committed here today to share the rest of your
lives with each other. Today, this relationship is
symbolized through the pouring of these two individual
containers of sand, one representing you, (Bride), all that
you were, all that you are, and all that you ever will be,
and the other, representing you, (Groom), and all that you
were, all that you are and all that you ever will be.
As these two containers of sand are poured into the third
container, the individual containers of sand will no longer
exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these
grains of sand can never be separated and poured again
into the individual containers, so will your marriage be."
4:
"----and----, will you now step up to the altar and hold
close to your heart the bag of sand representing the essence
of all that you are and all that you possess. As you do so,
embody the grains with all your hopes and dreams for the
future. Bring to mind all that you are, all that you aspire
to be and all the particles that make you unique and
wonderful in the eyes of your beloved.
( Bride and Groom each take their own bag of sand from
the altar.)
Officiant:
"Within a marriage each person is both their own and each
other's. Their personal integrity does not diminish by their
union, in fact it is enhanced. Their hopes and dreams
remain their own, as individual as each grain of sand. Yet
they have a new life ahead with endless possibilities and
new dreams that are theirs together.
-----and-----will you now join the contents of that which
you hold in the palm of your hand, join your essences, and
create this physical representation of the sacred place in
which souls touch."
(Bride and Groom intermingle their sand and Final
Blessing is given.)
5:
Bride, Groom and Parents
"----and----, today you are making a life-long
commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other.
Your relationship is symbolized through the pouring of
these individual containers of sand; one representing you,
(Bride), and all that you were, all that you are, and all
you will ever be. The other represents you, (Groom), and
all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will
ever be.
AS you hold your sand, the separate containers of sand
represent your lives to this moment, individual and unique.
As you now combine your sand together, your lives also
join together as one family.
At this time, I invite the parents of -----and----to come
forward. These other four vials of sand represent the
Bride and Groom and each family.
You may now blend the sand together symbolizing the
uniting of the two families into one. Just as these grains of
sand can never be separated and poured again into the
individual containers, so will your marriage and your
families be."
Ceremony By The Sea
Some Bridal Couples want to have their wedding in a
natural setting of trees, mountains or by an ocean with a
tropical beach theme. When no ocean is near, it can be
done by a lake, a river or any body of water. In these
cases, incorporating a Blending of the Sands is
particularly beautiful. The first part of the ceremony
could be as follows:
Welcome
Today we celebrate the joining of ----and---- in the
sacred bond of marriage. I ask all who are gathered here,
amidst this natural setting, yo offer peace and loving
kindness to this couple as they share a path marked with
beauty and truth. This ceremony is a symbol of their
journey's beginning. May they be blessed with courage,
compassion, and divine guidance.
(To the couple)
As we stand by the ocean, may your love always be as
constant and unchanging as these never--ending waves that
break beneath our feet, flowing endlessly from the depths
of the sea. Your love came softly upon each other's
hearts, just as the foam breaks softly before us, and just as
there will never be a night without the ocean's flow, may
there never be a day without your love for each other.
Pledge yourselves to each other this day and promise to be
as faithful, unchanging and dependable as the tide. As
these Waters nourish the Earth and sustain life, may your
constant love nourish and sustain each other until the end
of time."
(After the vows, exchange of rings and Blending of the
Sands, the final blessing would be as follows:
"Inas much as----and----have declared their love to
each other before the evening sky and the deep eternal sea,
I now greet them as husband and wife. May you be each
other's navigator in the course of Life's voyages, and each
other's anchor in the rough seas that may lie ahead, so that
through this journey your love may have the strength of the
powerful sun which can break away any dark cloud that
may come your way. And as each other's mate for life
may you be at the helm of your own and each other's
destiny"
(As stated before, this and all ceremonies can be modified
and changed. Even the Ceremony by the Sea can be
adapted for indoor use, if wished.)
Blessing Of The Hands
(This is a lovely ceremony in which the Bride and
Groom are reminded of the love and commitment that
each brings to the other in Marriage.)
Officiant:
(Bride), -----please hold (Groom's)---hands, palms
up, so you may see the gift they are to you.
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong
and vibrant with love that are holding yours on your
wedding day, as he promises to passionately love you and
cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
Theses are the hands that will work alongside yours, as
together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as
you share your innermost secrets and dreams.
These are the hands you will place with expectant joy
upon your stomach until he, too, feels his child stir within
you.
These are the hands that look so large and strong yet will
be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.
These are the hands that will work long hours for you
and your new family.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the
tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and
hold you when fear or grief engulfs your heart.
These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and
brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his
eyes; eyes that are filled with his overwhelming love and
desire for you.
These are the hands that, when wrinkled and aged, will
still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same
unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
Officiant then speaks to the Groom:
" (Groom)---, please hold (Bride's) ------hands, palms
up so you may see the gift they are to you.
These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young
and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day
as she promises to passionately love you, and cherish you
through the years for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will hold each child in tender
love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting
them and encouraging them along the way, knowing when
it is time to let go.
These are the hands that will massage the tension from
your neck in the evenings after you've both had a long hard
day.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you
struggle through difficult times.
These are the hands that will comfort you when you are
sick, or console you when you are grieving.
These are the hands that will hold you in joy and
excitement and hope each time she tells you that you are to
have a child, that together you have created a new life.
These are the hands that will give you support as she
encourages you to chase down your dreams.
Together, as a team, everything you wish for can be
realized. There is no more I or You---there is only We
and Us.
God, Eternal Spirit, bless these hands that You see
before you this day. May they always be held by one
another. Give them the strength to hold on during the
storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment.
Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in
their wondrous love,
Help these hands to continue building a relationship
founded in Your Grace, rich in caring and devoted in
reaching for Your protection. May
(Groom)---and(Bride)---see their four hands as healer,
protector, shelter and guide. We ask this in the Name of
the Father/Mother God, the Divine Christ and the
Holy Spirit.
(This Ceremony can be revised for those who do not plan
to have children, or who are too old to have any and are
having a Vow Renewal.)
The Wine Ceremony
(This Ceremony was originally a French wine country
tradition, used when the owners of two vineyards, or their
children, were married, to signify their joining. There are
several ways to do this ceremony. Usually, there is both
red and white wine, one signifying the Groom, and one
signifying the Bride. A small table is set up near where
the wedding ceremony will take place. There will be two
small carafes on the table, and a larger one or a wineglass.
Just before the wedding begins, the parents, usually the
fathers or a male member of the families will step up, each
carrying a bottle of wine, and they pour the white wine in
to one small carafe, and the red is put into the other.
OR-------the carafes filled with wine can be carried in
the processional by an attendant of the Bride, and an
attendant of the Groom, and placed on the table when they
reach the Officiant but this can be a bit awkward since the
groomsmen are usually already standing at the altar when
the Bride and her attendants come down the aisle, and the
attendenta are carrying floral bouquets. One way this
could be handled is for the Bridal couple to designate two
particular people to come down the aisle just before the
processional begins, bearing the carafes of wine and who,
then, will place them on the table before taking their seats.
In any case, after the couple have exchanged rings and
spoken their vows, the Officiant announces that they will
have a wine ceremony. There will be a Special
Reading done which talks of the symbolism of the
ceremony. Then the couple go to the table where they both
will pour their own wine from the smaller carafes into the
larger one, thus mingling their lives. The Groom then
pours wine from the Marriage Carafe (the larger one)
into the wine glass. He may then take a sip, perhaps
saying : "Now our lives are one," before giving the glass
to the Bride so she can take a sip. There can also be two
wineglasses, one for the Groom, one for the Bride. The
Groom can pour some wine in the Bride's glass, and she
can pour some into his glass, then each can toast the other
The Officiant can then state:
" This Ceremony represents the two individual live are
now joined, combined like the two wines into one single
life. The drinking of the combined wine signifies the
commitment you now make to live your lives as one
family. May you remember this Day of Love and
Promise always, which you have sealed with drinking of
the new wine joining your lives as one."
The following are Readings that can be done by the
Officiant during the Ceremony:
Reading 1
" The years of life will have some hardships and
disappointments, of which this bitter wine is a symbol, so
remember to forgive the frailties of one another. Bear
together life's adversities and be confidant that the good
will return."
(Groom takes a sip of wine, then hands the glass to
Bride, who takes a sip, then gives it back to Groom.)
Officiant:
The years of life have, indeed, much happiness, joy, hope
and goodness, of which this sweet wine is a token. We ask
that you drink of it together, and as you do, earnestly seek
the power and wisdom to use all the pleasure and
prosperity that may come to you, with gratitude, and with
sympathy for those less fortunate than yourselves."
(Groom sips then hands glass to Bride, who sips then
gives it to Officiant. who then says:)
" As you have shared the wine from these goblets, so may
you share your lives. May you find Life's joys
heightened, its bitterness sweetened, and all of life
enriched by a constant love."
Reading 2
"The years of our lives are as a cup of wine, poured out
for us to drink. As grapes, when they are pressed, give
forth their juices for the wine, so under the winepress of
Time our lives give forth their labou, their honor and their
love.
-----and--------,often in the days to come, you will sit
at the same table and break bread together. drink now, and
may the cup of your lives be sweet and full to overflowing.
As you have shared from this one cup of wine, so may
you draw contentment, comfort and delight from the Cup
of Life. May you find Life's joys heightened, its
bitterness sweetened, and all things hallowed by your
companionship and love."
Reading 3
Long ago wine was revered as the blood of the Earth.
When -----and----pledged themselves to each other, they
drank wine from a single cup, signifying they were
becoming one blood, one family, one kin. Cup--raising
was an invitation to the Gods to witness this oath and
hold the couple to their word.
---and---, you may share this cup in acknowledgement of
the new bond between the two of us.
Reading 4
(This Reading was chosen by one of my couples who
wanted me to also read the poem "Love One Another"
by Kahlil Gibran. The poem is found on page 1 of
Readings and Poetry on this site. The poem speaks of
filling each other's cup but drinking not from only one, to
signify not only their unity but also their individuality.)
The Ceremony Reading is as follows:
"In these glasses are the fruits of God, Mankind and
Mother The years of our lives are like a cup of wine that
is poured out for the sake of labour, honor and love.
Many days will you sit at the same table and eat and
drink together.
Many are the experiences you will share
As with a glass of wine, one of you may find it sweet, the
other perhaps dry or somewhat different. Let the drink
you share today serve as a reminder that although you
may perceive things very differently, being right is never
more important than being happy.
With this space that you give each other, always putting
commitment to love and honor one another first in
everything, your lives together will grow deeper, richer
and greatly satisfying like a rare and fine wine.
Now, ----and----, fill each other's cup and drink from
this Fountain of Love.
You are now joined in one unbroken circle. Where ever
you go, may you always return to one another in your
togetherness. May you two find in each other the love for
which all men and women long.
May you grow in understanding and compassion. May
the home that you establish be such a place of sanctuary
that all who visit will find there a friend.
Jumping The Broom
This is an ancient custom Most people think of the
slaves in the South when they hear this term. The right to
a legal marriage was not given to the slaves in America
as they were considered property in the eyes of the law,
much as all slaves have been considered over the eons of
time when one peoples conquered another.
But the Africans in America had rich ceremonial
rituals in their homeland, and marriage was sacred to them
so they created a new ritual to bond themselves to a mate.
However, "Jumping the Broom" was not only an
African custom------it was also an ancient custom in
Wales and other Celtic countries.
The Broom represents a threshold. There was not
always a priest or priestess available to marry a couple so
branches of birch or oak were placed in the doorway of a
home The couple would jump over it, and were then
considered married.
Another version states that jumping over the broom
represents crossing the threshold into new, uncharted
territory and a new life that will be entwined with another.
It requires a "Leap of Faith", that signifies their
dedication to working together to preserve their
marriage..Brooms are also symbolic of the hearth and
home, the center of the new family that is being created.
The Officiant can say:
"This broom represents a threshold.
---and----, although still individuals, will begin a new
life together with another person, and it requires a "Leap
of Faith." Jumping over the broom represents crossing the
threshold into new territory, into a life that is vitally
connected to another's.
They leave behind the past and jump into the future
together, secure in their love. The leap they take over the
broom is also symbolic in another way, By taking this
leap, they make a gesture of dedication to working together
through the tough times ahead, as well as the easy ones.
Please count with me now and give a shout of joy and
congratulations as they perform their first of working
together as Husband and Wife.
1-2-3---jump! Hooray!
( The broom should be beautifully decorated in colors of
the Bride's choosing and placed in front of them by the
Best Man and Maid of Honor when directed by
Officiant, usually after they have been pronounced
married.)
Breaking The Glass
This is a Jewish custom that is often implemented
intoGentile ceremonies. The glass is usually a light bulb
wrapped in a napkin or towel or in a small plastic bag
which in turn is put into a satin bag that the couple can
keep in memory of the occasion.
The Officiant says words to this effect:
"The Breaking of the Glass serves to remind us of
several important aspects of a marriage. The Bride and
Groom should consider these vows they have taken as an
irrevocable act, just as permanent and final as the breaking
of this glass is unchangeable.
The shattered glass also reminds us how fragile life and
love can be. That sometimes a single thoughtless act,
breach of trust, or marital misstep can damage a marriage
in ways that are very difficult to undo, sometimes
impossible, just as it would be impossible to undo the
breaking of the glass.
It serves as a reminder of the sancity of marriage, and that
the love of the Bride and Groom should last for as long
as it would take to make the glass perfectly whole again.
It also symbolizes the transforming experience that
marriage creates, leaving the Bride and Groom forever
changed. Knowing that this marriage is permanent, the
Bride and Groom should always strive to show each
other the love and respect befitting their spouse and love of
their life.
In a moment , (Groom) will break the glass signifying
the end of the ceremony and the time for celebration..
( Sometimes the Bride and Groom will break the glass
together.)
After glass is broken, everyone shouts: "Mazel Tov!"
which means "Good Luck" and "Congratulations!"
(This ceremony was created by Rev. Falon Moon of the
Church of the Ancient Ways.)
Thirteen Gold Coins Ceremony
This is based on a Roman custom of breaking a piece of
gold or silver in half---one half was kept by the woman
and the other half by the man, as a pledge of marriage.
Now, it's mostly a Spanish/Mexican custom that others
sometimes use because they like the symbolism.
Thirteen gold coins are given by the Groom to the Bride
to signify that he will support her financially.
Often presented in ornate boxes or on gift trays, it
represents the Bride's dowry and holds good wishes for
prosperity. These coins then become part of the family
heirlooms.
The coins are said to represent Christ and His twelve
Disciples, though some versions say the thirteen coins
represent the twelve lunar cycles in a year plus their
honeymoon.
At any rate, the coins are presented to Officiant by a
friend, relative or the Best Man before the ceremony to
be blessed. They are then placed on a tray with a
beautifully decorated box and held by an assistant until
near the end of the ceremony when the Officiant asks for
them. The Officiant places the coins into the box and
hands it to the Groom who pours them from the box into
the cupped hands of the Bride, and pledges that he places
all his goods into her care and safekeeping as a symbol of
his unquestionable trust and confidence as the Officiant
explains the he recognizes his responsibility as a provider
and pledges his ability to support and care for the Bride
and their children. Her acceptance of the coins means
taking that trust and confidence unconditionally with total
dedication and prudence.
Ceremony of the Lasso (Cord)
After the exchange of vows, and while the couple are
kneeling during the Wedding Prayer, a large loop of
rosary beads or white satin cord is placed in a figure eight
shape around the necks of the Bride and Groom to show
their unity. The eight also represents Infinity and
permanence.
During the Prayer special members of the Wedding
Party, usually Best Man and Maid of Honor take the
cord or beads and drape it around the shoulders of the
kneeling couple, the Groom's shoulder first, or it may be
tied around their wrists. They wear the lasso throughout
the remainder of the service as a symbol of their love
which should bind them together every day as they equally
share the responsibilities of marriage for the rest of their
the end of the ceremony the Best Man and Maid of
Honor remove the cord or beads and the Lasso is given to
the Bride as a memento of her becoming the mistress of
the Groom's heart and home and shows their promise to
always be together
The Ceremonial Dove Release
Officiant:
" Once the Lord of Heaven chose two doves, both young
and fair,
and told them of a very special journey they would share.
"Go now upon the Earth and see two hearts where you
may dwell,
and there I shall surely come and make my home with
you as well.
We'll join the two and make them one,
a Husband and his Wife,
My Spirit will endow their love with everlasting Life.
Today the doves will bring the Sacred Promise from
above,
to those whose hearts are open to the Miracle of Love.
The Ceremonial DoveRelease has been a custom for
centuries, The Noblemen of old released the dove as a
symbol of their eternal love for their brides, for doves
choose one partner for life and make this commitment until
death. The White Dove has been used throughout history
as a symbol of love, peace, purity, faithfulness and
prosperity. It is said that if doves are seen on your
wedding day, a happy home is assured. These birds
released here today represent the love and commitment you
have given to one another this day. From this day forward,
whenever you see a white dove, may you be reminded of
this moment.
The release of doves in ceremonies extends the message of
Peace, the celebration of Life and the expression of love.
Releasing doves uplifts the eyes, signifies new
beginnings, a true celebration in flight. In Scripture doves
are more numerous than all other species. Luke 3"22
states "the heavens opened and the Holy Spirit descended
on Him in the form of a dove." Doves are a symbol of
Peace, and the presence of the Spirit. They have been
chosen by God to be His Messenger of the Day.
May they bring peace and everlasting love to ---and---."
Butterfly Release Ceremony
Legend of the Butterfly:
According to an American Indian Legend, if anyone
desires a wish to come true, they must first capture a
butterfly and whisper that wish to it. Since a butterfly can
make no sound, it cannot reveal the wish to anyone but the
Great Spirit who hears and sees all. In gratitude for
giving the beautiful butterfly its freedom, the Great Spirit
always grants the wish. So, according to legend, by
making a wish and giving the butterfly its freedom, the
wish will be taken to the heavens and granted, We have
gathered to grant this couple all our best wishes and are
about to set these butterflies free in trust that all these
wishes will be granted by the great Spirit.
From the Cycles of Life come Circles of Love
and we give our thanks to the Spirit of All
for such gifts from above.
From Nature;s own beauty come uplifting feelings, from
the flight of these magnificent creatures may you find
Life's true meanings. And as these creatures escape to
the Light, may the promise of tomorrow always be bright.
Let them carry our hopes for what the future may bring,
and may your love be uplifted on these Butterfly Wings.
Handfasting Ceremony
This is an ancient bethrothal/wedding ritual that, in the
usual sense, would bind a couple for a year and a day.
After that time, if they felt they did not suit each other,
they could part ways or go on to have a legal wedding. It
was very popular in Medieval and Renaissance times as
well as the Elizabethan Age. In the British Isles it
was the old pagan wedding ritual and it remained legal in
Scotland till 1939 especially in the border town of
Gretna Green where many couples went to do their own
ceremony when their families objected to their marriage.
In many cases, all a couple had to do to be considered
married was to declare that they took each other for their
spouse. An actual Handfasting is the act of tying a
couple's hands or wrists together in a special ceremony.
This is where the tern "tie the knot" comes from. Many
couples in modern times are fascinated by the lovely ritual
and like to incorporate it into an actual wedding ceremony.
It can also be done as an Engagement Ceremony. So I
have included it as a Special Add--On Ceremony to give
couples an additional choice. It, too, can be modified to
suit the tastes of a couple. Usually, six cords, either
white or in color, will be draped, one at a time, over the
hands of the Bridal Couple as they say special vows.
This signifies the binding of their lives together.
Officiant:
"Know now before you go further that since your lives
have crossed in this life you have formed ties between
each other. As you seek to enter this state of Matrimony,
you should strive to make it real, the ideal which you give
meaning to both the ceremony and the institution of
Marriage.
With full awareness, know that within this circle you are
not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your
friends and family but you speak that intent also to your
higher creative powers and to the Great Spirit of all Life.
The promises that are made here today and the ties that
are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will
cross the years and lives of each soul's growth.
Knowing this, do you still seek to enter this union?
Response: "We do.'
In times past it was believed that the human soul shared
characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief that
assigned virtues to the cardinal directions of
East--South--West---and North. It is in this tradition
that a blessing is offered in support of this ceremony.
Blessed be this Union with the gifts of the East:
Communication of the heart, mind body and spirit; fresh
beginnings with the rising of each sun, the knowledge of
the growth found in the sharing of silence.
Blessed be this Union with the gifts of the South:
The warmth of the hearth and home; the heat of the heart's
passion; the comfort to be found in the homeplace; the
Light created by both that will brighten the darkest of
times.
Blessed be this Union with the gifts of the West:
The deep commitments of the lake, the swift excitement of
the river, the refreshing cleansing of the rain; the
all---encompassing passion of the sea; the deep emotion
felt when two people are as one
Blessed be this Union with the gifts of the North:
A firm foundation on which to build, the fertikity of the
fields to enrich your lives, a stable home to which you may
always return.
Each of these blessings from the four points of the world
emphasizes those things which will help you build a happy
and successful marriage. Yet they are only tools---tools
which you must use together in order to create what you
seek in this union.
I bid you look into each other's eyes:
1:
(To Groom: ) "Will you cause her pain?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Bride: ) "Will you cause him pain?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Both: ) "Will you share each other's pain and seek
to ease it?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made. Join your hands."
(The first cord is draped over their hands)
2:
(To Groom:) "Will you share her laughter?"
Response: "Yes"
(To Bride:) "Will you share his laughter?"
Response: "Yes."
(To Both:) "Will you both look for the brightness in
life, and the positive in each other?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made."
(The second cord is draped over their hands.)
3:
(To Groom:) "Will you burden her?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Bride:) "Will you burden him?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Both:) "Will you share the burdens of each other
that your spirits may grow in this marriage?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made."
(Third cord is draped over their hands.)
4:
(To Groom:) "Will you share her dreams?"
Response: "I will."
(To Bride:) "Will you share his dreams?"
Response: "I will."
(To Both:) "Will you dream together to share new
realities and hopes?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made."
(Fourth cord is draped over their hands.)
5:
(To Groom:) "Will you cause her anger?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Bride:) "Will you cause him anger?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Both:) "Will you take the heat of this anger and
use it to temper the strength of this union?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made."
(Fifth cord is drapes over their hands.)
6:
(To Groom:) "Will you honor her?"
Response: "I will."
(To Bride:) "Will you honor him?"
Response: "I will."
(To Both:) "Will you seek to never give cause to break
that honor?"
Response: "We shall never do so.."
"And so the binding is made."
(Sixth cord is draped over their hands. Tie the cords
together while saying:)
"The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords,
but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the
cords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the
making or breaking of this union."
"Above you are the stars, below you are the stones.
As time doth pass, remember this:
Like a stone should your love be firm.
Like a star, should your love be constant.
Let the powers of the mind and the intellect guide you in
your marriage.
Let the strength of your wills bind you together.
Let the power of love and desire make you happy,
and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable.
Be close but not too close.
Possess one another but be understanding.
Have patience with one another, for storms will come
but they will pass quickly.
Be free in giving affection and warmth,
Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened
give you unease, for God, our Father/Mother is with you
always."
(To Groom:)
"I have not the right to bind you to------(Bride),
only you have that right. If this be your wish, say so at
this time."
(Groom:) "It is my wish."
"Then place the ring, an unbroken circle, representing
Eternal Love, on her finger and repeat after me:
"I,-----, in the Name of the Spirit of god that resides
within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and
the love that is within my heart, take thee,----------.to
my hand, my heart and my spirit to be my chosen spouse.
To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess thee and
be possessed by thee. I promise to love thee, wholly and
completely, without restraint, in sickness and in health, in
plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall
meet, remember and love again. I shall not seek to change
thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy
people and thy ways as I respect myself."
(The Bride speaks the same vows, after which the cords
are untied and removed from their hands and given to them
to keep. They are then presented to everyone as Husband
and Wife, if this is a legal wedding.)
Holy Communion
The Bride and Groom may receive Holy Communion,
if they wish, after the exchange of rings, and if they desire,
it can also be offered to the ones attending the wedding.
that a Bridal Couple can incorporate into their wedding,
and each one can be modified to suit the needs and desires
of the couple.)
The Rose Ceremony
The Rose Ceremony is a beautiful symbol of
a couple's love and willingness to fully commit
themselves and work together to preserve their
marriage. It can be done with any color of rose
but, usually, it will be with a red or white rose.
It can be just an exchange of roses or the
bride can present the groom with a vase of
water in which to place the rose he gives to her.
The following is the basic ceremony in which
the couple exchanges roses.
1---
Officiant:
"One gift to each other for your wedding today is your
wedding rings, which shall always be an outward
demonstration of your vows of love and respect, and a
public showing of your commitment to each other.
You will acquire what remains the most honorable title
which may exist between a man and a woman----the title
of husband and wife. But you will be giving another gift
to each other today, a gift to recognize your new titles: the
gift of a single rose.
In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love, and
a single rose always meant only one -----it meant "I
Love You." So it is appropriate that your gift to each
other as husband and wife should be a single rose.
---------and-----, please exchange roses."
( Bride and Groom give each other a single
rose.)
Officiant continues:
"In some ways it may seem like you have not done
anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one
single rose----and now you are holding one single
rose.A marriage ceremony is very similar in this way.
Tomorrow may seem no different than yesterday. But in
fact, today you have both given and received one of the
most valuable and precious gifts of life, one I hope you
will always remember, the gift of true and abiding love
within the devotion of marriage.
-------and-------, I would ask that where ever
you make your home in the future, whether it be a large
and elegant home, or a small and graceful one, that you
both pick one very special location for roses. On each
anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may
take a rose to that spot, both as a re-commitment of your
marriage and a re-commitment that this will always be a
marriage based on love.
In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to
find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most
love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love.
It might be difficult sometimes to find words to say "I am
sorry."
"I forgive you, please forgive me," "I need you," or "I
am hurting." If this should happen, if you simply cannot
find these words, then leave a rose in the spot which both
of you have selected, for that rose then says what matters
most of all and which should overpower all other things,
and all other words. That rose says the words" "I still
love you." The other person should accept this rose for the
words which can not be found, and remember the love and
hope that you both share today.
---and---, if there is any thing you remember of this
marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you
here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious
union, and it is by love which your marriage should endure.
2---:
In this version the Groom gives a rose to his
Bride who is holding a vase of water in which
the rose is placed and they speak special vows
to each other. After the Officiant says :
:it is appropriate that your gift to each other as
husband and wife should be a single rose,
he/she says to Groom:
Please repeat after me:
(Bride)---- I give you this rose. Because it grew
from a tiny seed, becoming stronger and larger until it
burst into flower, it symbolizes the way my love for you
has grown. (He gives her the rose) Each year on
our wedding anniversary, I will give you another rose. I
so doing, I'll remember this day and renew the vows
we've made to each other.
Bride: -------I give to you this vase of water.
(Groom takes it and holds it) Because water is
the one element without which we would perish, it
symbolizes the importance of your love in my life. Each
year on our anniversary, I will refill this vase, offering it
to you as a symbol of my ever renewing love.
(Bride puts the rose into the vase of water and
they then hold the vase together.)
Groom: Without water, the rose would die.
Bride: Without the rose, the vase of water would not
be as beautiful.
Groom: My gift is enhanced by yours, just as my life
is enhanced by you.
Bride: My gift is lovely because of yours, just as my
life is better because of you.
Officiant: On each anniversary, as you give and receive
the rose and water, remember with joy this day when you
pledged your love and your lives to each other. May this
be only the first of many cherished traditions in a home
filled with happiness.
3:---
White Rose Ceremony
(A Red Rose can also be used)
(This ceremony can be used as your marriage vows to
each other. )
Groom hands the Bride a long stemmed white rose and
says:
"-------take this rose as a symbol of my love. It began
as a tiny bud and blossomed, just as my love for you has
grown and blossomed."
The Bride places the rose into a bud vase filled with
water and says:
"I take this rose as a symbol of your love and I place it
into water, a symbol of life. For just as this rose cannot
survive without water, so I cannot survive without you."
Groom:
"-------, in remembrance of this day, I will give you a
white rose each year on our anniversary as a reaffirmation
of my love and the vows spoken here today."
Bride:
"And I will refill this vase with water each year ready
to receive your gift, in reaffirmation of the new life you
have given me and the vows spoken here today."
(Bride and Groom join hands around the rose--filled
vase)
Groom:
"And so, this rose will be a symbolic memory of my
commitment to you this hour; I vow to be a faithful
husband to you, to comfort you, honor you, respect you and
cherish you all the days of my life."
Bride:
"And I commit myself to you, to be a faithful wife, to
comfort you, honor you, respect you, and cherish you all
the days of my life.'
(Any combination of vows can be substituted for the above
vows.)
4-----
Mother's Rose Presentation
Officiant:
Marriage is a coming together of two lives, and a
celebration of the love of two people, but it is more than
that. The love that (Groom) and (Bride) feel for one
another is the flowering of a seed their parents planted in
their hearts years ago. As they embrace one another in
their love, so do they embrace the families who have been
brought together on this happy occasion. As a sign of
love for their families
(Groom) and (Bride) would like to offer these symbols
of eternal love to their mothers,
-----------and-------.These roses are a promise to
them, and to their fathers, that no matter how far apart you
may be, that you are not and will not be, forgotten; a
reminder that you are always in their thoughts and prayers
and they will always love, honor and respect you.
Unity Candle Ceremonies
( For a long time, humanity has used
candles as visual reminders of
non--physical values such as a
marriage relationship. using the flame
from two burning candles to light a new
single candle is a gentle and simple
reminder to all present that a new, very
important relationship has been created.
A candle is used in churches to
represent life. The candle flame is an
emblem of Life---the life God gives
us, the influence of a life lingering on
Earth beyond their death---the passing
of life from one person to another, as the
Olympics uses a torch to pass the
Light on. A Unity Candle perfectly
symbolizes the beginning of the "One"
life by two individuals being joined
together in marriage. The follwing
paragraphs are some samples of
different Unity Candle Ceremonies
which can, of course, be modified to suit
the needs of the Bridal Couple.)
1:
"From every human being there rises a light that reaches
straight to heaven. And when two souls are destined to
find each other their two streams of light flow together and
a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.
They do not lose their individuality, yet in marriage they
are united in so close a bond that they become one. Now,
following the profession of their vows,-------and----will
light the large center candle from the smaller candles to
symbolize this new reality. In this way they are saying
that henceforth their light must shine together for each
other, for their families and for their community.
2:
:-------and----, you have just sealed your relationship by
the giving and receiving of rings and by the joining of
hands. You have committed here today to share the rest of
your lives together. This beautiful union is symbolized by
the lighting of the Unity Candle.
This candle is a Candle of Marriage. Its fire is
magical because it represents the light of two people in
love.
This candle before you is a Candle of Commitment
because it takes two people working together to keep it
aflame.
It is also a candle of Unity because both must come
together, giving a spark of themselves to create the new
light.,
Life is lika a flame. It has its own warmth and its own
brilliance. But it is in the union of two that something
brighter, warmer and more beautiful takes place.
Now,-----and----, please light the center candle to
symbolize the union of your lives.
As you have lit the candle today, may the brightness of
the flame shine throughout your lives. May the radiance
of this One Light be a testimony of your unity.
May it burn brightly as a symbol of your committment to
each other.
May it give you courage and reassurance in the darkness,
warmth and safety in the cold, and strength and joy in your
bodies, minds and spirits.
The life that each of you experienced now, individually,
will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall
become one. May your union be forever blessed.
3:
Today, ------amd----come here from two different
families. Out of these two families, a new family will be
created by the grace of our Father/Mother God. At this
time I would invite the parents of -----and----to come
forward and light the individual candles which represent
the two separate families. The two individual flames, one
representing each family, will demonstrate to us in a very
beautiful way, the symbol of two which become one. From
now on they will grow together as unique personalities
become a light to the world.
4:
Now we have a ceremony of spiritual symbolism.
Ancient teachers say that for each of us, there is a candle,
a symbol of our own inner light, but that no one can kindle
his or her own candle. Each of us needs someone else to
kindle it for us. When two people fall in love, they light
each other's candles, creating great light and joy and
glorious expectations.
Now,----and----, I'd like you to remember when it was
in your relationship that you first realized you were truly
in love and wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.
And holding that thought-------;
(Officiant picks up a candle and hands it to the Groom)
"----, take this candle, symbol of the inner light in
(Bride). Lit by the Eternal Light, with the dedication
to rekindle it again amd again, whenever necessary.
(Officiant gives the next candle to Bride with same
words.)
Officiant:
"With these candles, we can see how to achieve a
beautiful marriage. In your marriage, you will try to
bring these lights, the symbol of yourselves, closer and
closer to each other until they become one, (Bride and
Groom join the flames of their candles together) a great
torch of light, a radiant symbol of love, joy, peace and
harmony. (They continue to hold the flames together)
This is the mystery of two becoming one.
Yet, it is vitally important to remember that there are
always really two in a marriage (Officiant pulls their
hands apart, dividing the flames.) each with his or her own
desires, yearnings, dreams and wishes. And these must be
respected and responded to with great love, with great
compassion and with genuine tenderness. As you now
light the center candle together, remember always this day
and keep the Marriage Candle lit within your hearts so
that your home will be a place of radiant light, great joy,
peace and harmony and much love.
5:
"The Scripture tells us that Life is like a flame; it has
its own warmth, and its own brilliance, but it's in the
union of two souls that something brighter, warmer, more
wonderful takes place.
You have chosen the Unity Candle as a symbol of your
love and life to come, and the lighting of this candle
signifies that you are now two in one flesh.
The mothers of the Bride and Groom have already lit
the two smaller candles which symbolize the fate and life
they have shared with their children till now.
I now ask -----and----to light the Unity Candle with
those two separate candles."
(They do so, then blow out the flame on the Mother's
candles, returning them to their respective holders.)
Officiant:
"Please join hands and repeat after me these beautiful
words of the Song of Ruth:
"Entreat me not to leave thee,
nor to return from following after thee.
For whither thou goest, I will go.
Whither thou lodgest I will lodge.
Thy people shall be my people and thy God my God.
Whither thou diest, will I die,
and there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me and more also,
if ought but death part thee and me.
6:
"Today, ----and----make a loving committment to
follow the greatest commandment of all: Love one
another as I have loved you.
They do this in hopes that their union will be a symbol of
God's promise to merge two lives into one.
The two distinct flames represent your lives to this
moment, individual and unique. As you light the center
candle together, the entwined flames symbolize your two
lives joined in dependence and growing maturity. Your
plans will be mutual, your joys and sorrows will be
shared alike. We bless this joining of two lives into one in
the Name of the Holy Trinity."
( If Bride and Groom have children that are old
enough, have them light the individual candles, either
before the ceremony or just before the parents are to light
the Marriage Candle or have them help light the
Marriage Candle with the parents.This will make them
feel a part of things. They can also be given rings or
medallions and asked if they accept the Bride or Groom
as their parent, and the B&G can be asked to accept
them as their own children.
Officiant can also say: "The lighting of the center candle
represents not only the union of ----and----im Marriage
but the Unity formed iby this new family in which your
lives will now shine as one family."
7:
Universal Spirit Unity Candle Ceremony
AS the Bride and Groom light the Marriage Candle
the Officiant recites this poem:
"Soft mists embrace two golden flames,
Alone they search the night,
Two souls adrift in dreams of love,
They seek to claim the Light.
The path is long from which they came,
but sure they are it's right;
Two flames embrace in dreams of love,
Two souls---two hearts unite."
(This can be used in any of the above ceremonies.)
8:
"---and---, the two lighted candles symbolize your
separate lives, your separate families, your separate sets of
friends. I ask that you each take one candle and that
together you light the center candle, which is the Candle
of Marriage.
The individual candles represent your lives before today.
Lighting the center candle says that your two lives are
now joined to one light and it represents the joining
together of your two families and sets of friends to become
one."
9:
And now, let us participate in another symbolic act. Life
is full of many such actions that speak to us of a deeper
meaning that we cannot always put into words.
You have used ancient symbols in this wedding
service----the exchange of rings, the clasping of hands, the
bearing of flowers. By such things you act instead of
speak in regard to your promises.
Now, each of you will take a candle, and together you
will light the larger candle. This is a vivid reminder that
in true marriage, our lives are merged, even as we remain
individuals. This is a symbolic prayer that God will
enhance your own personhood and bless your uniqueness
as individuals---and that God will also make of your
hands, one hand; of your hearts, one heart, and of your
lives, one life.
10:
Family Unity Candle
It is only out of families that new families emerge.
Today the family candles of the Bride and Groom that
burn in our midst symbolize thair separate lives, and they
come to this moment from their two families, and the new
emerges from the old---the present from the past.
I ask that the parents of the Bridal Couple each take one
of the lit candles, along with your children, and that
together all of you light the other center candle. This
represents that your two lives are now joined as one, and it
also represents the joining together of your two families as
one. As they move together, they form a new light---the
Light of their Union---it burns separately but not alone.
From now on, your thoughts shall be for each other rather
than for your individual selves. Your joys and sorrows
shall be shared as one as these two families are blended
together. Today a new family candle begins its glow.
Blending Of The Sands
(The Sand Ceremony is similar to the Unity Candle in
that it symbolizes two individual lives becoming one in
Marriage. The Bride and Groom can purchase different
colored sand along with an empty vial or vase that has a
way to be sealed afterwards. The ceremony consists of
them slowly pouring their own particular color of sand
into the empty vial together, the blending signifying their
unity. Some couple like to have the Officiant pour a small
layer of white sand on the bottom of the vial before they
blend their own colors, then Officiant pours another
small layer over the blended sands. If children are
involved in the ceremony they can each have a different
color and take turns pouring theirs into the vial before the
couple do theirs, to signify the blending of the two families.
The vial of the blended sands can then be put in a place of
honor in their home to ever remind them of their vows.
The following excerpts are samples of the different words
that can be used by the Officiant during the ceremonies.
And, again, all these ceremonies can be modified as the
couple wishes. Or parts of several ceremonies can be used
together. It is also nice to have the vials of sand
surrounded by sea shells. Some shells can be used to
blend the sands together.)
1:
"---and---, today you are making a life-long commitment
to share the rest of your lives with each other. Your
relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these
individual containers of sand: one representing the you
(Bride) and all that you were, all that you are, and all
that you will ever be; the other represents you, (Groom),
and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you
will ever be.
As you each hold your sand, the separate containers of
sand represent your lives to this moment, individual and
unique. As you now combine your sand together, your
lives also join together as one.
You may now blend the sand together, symbolizing the
uniting of the Bride and Groom into one. Just as these
grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into
the individual containers, so will your marriage be."
2:
"Today, ---and---, you are making a commitment of your
eternal love for one another. As you each hold your sand,
know that the separate containers of sand represent your
lives to this moment, individual and unique. As you now
combine your sand together, your lives also join together
as one."
3:
"----and----,you have just sealed your relationship by the
giving and receiving of rings and the exchange of a kiss,
and this covenant is a relationship pledge between two
people who agree that they will commit themselves to one
another throughout their lives. The most beautiful
example of a partnership is the marriage relationship.
You have committed here today to share the rest of your
lives with each other. Today, this relationship is
symbolized through the pouring of these two individual
containers of sand, one representing you, (Bride), all that
you were, all that you are, and all that you ever will be,
and the other, representing you, (Groom), and all that you
were, all that you are and all that you ever will be.
As these two containers of sand are poured into the third
container, the individual containers of sand will no longer
exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these
grains of sand can never be separated and poured again
into the individual containers, so will your marriage be."
4:
"----and----, will you now step up to the altar and hold
close to your heart the bag of sand representing the essence
of all that you are and all that you possess. As you do so,
embody the grains with all your hopes and dreams for the
future. Bring to mind all that you are, all that you aspire
to be and all the particles that make you unique and
wonderful in the eyes of your beloved.
( Bride and Groom each take their own bag of sand from
the altar.)
Officiant:
"Within a marriage each person is both their own and each
other's. Their personal integrity does not diminish by their
union, in fact it is enhanced. Their hopes and dreams
remain their own, as individual as each grain of sand. Yet
they have a new life ahead with endless possibilities and
new dreams that are theirs together.
-----and-----will you now join the contents of that which
you hold in the palm of your hand, join your essences, and
create this physical representation of the sacred place in
which souls touch."
(Bride and Groom intermingle their sand and Final
Blessing is given.)
5:
Bride, Groom and Parents
"----and----, today you are making a life-long
commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other.
Your relationship is symbolized through the pouring of
these individual containers of sand; one representing you,
(Bride), and all that you were, all that you are, and all
you will ever be. The other represents you, (Groom), and
all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will
ever be.
AS you hold your sand, the separate containers of sand
represent your lives to this moment, individual and unique.
As you now combine your sand together, your lives also
join together as one family.
At this time, I invite the parents of -----and----to come
forward. These other four vials of sand represent the
Bride and Groom and each family.
You may now blend the sand together symbolizing the
uniting of the two families into one. Just as these grains of
sand can never be separated and poured again into the
individual containers, so will your marriage and your
families be."
Ceremony By The Sea
Some Bridal Couples want to have their wedding in a
natural setting of trees, mountains or by an ocean with a
tropical beach theme. When no ocean is near, it can be
done by a lake, a river or any body of water. In these
cases, incorporating a Blending of the Sands is
particularly beautiful. The first part of the ceremony
could be as follows:
Welcome
Today we celebrate the joining of ----and---- in the
sacred bond of marriage. I ask all who are gathered here,
amidst this natural setting, yo offer peace and loving
kindness to this couple as they share a path marked with
beauty and truth. This ceremony is a symbol of their
journey's beginning. May they be blessed with courage,
compassion, and divine guidance.
(To the couple)
As we stand by the ocean, may your love always be as
constant and unchanging as these never--ending waves that
break beneath our feet, flowing endlessly from the depths
of the sea. Your love came softly upon each other's
hearts, just as the foam breaks softly before us, and just as
there will never be a night without the ocean's flow, may
there never be a day without your love for each other.
Pledge yourselves to each other this day and promise to be
as faithful, unchanging and dependable as the tide. As
these Waters nourish the Earth and sustain life, may your
constant love nourish and sustain each other until the end
of time."
(After the vows, exchange of rings and Blending of the
Sands, the final blessing would be as follows:
"Inas much as----and----have declared their love to
each other before the evening sky and the deep eternal sea,
I now greet them as husband and wife. May you be each
other's navigator in the course of Life's voyages, and each
other's anchor in the rough seas that may lie ahead, so that
through this journey your love may have the strength of the
powerful sun which can break away any dark cloud that
may come your way. And as each other's mate for life
may you be at the helm of your own and each other's
destiny"
(As stated before, this and all ceremonies can be modified
and changed. Even the Ceremony by the Sea can be
adapted for indoor use, if wished.)
Blessing Of The Hands
(This is a lovely ceremony in which the Bride and
Groom are reminded of the love and commitment that
each brings to the other in Marriage.)
Officiant:
(Bride), -----please hold (Groom's)---hands, palms
up, so you may see the gift they are to you.
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong
and vibrant with love that are holding yours on your
wedding day, as he promises to passionately love you and
cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
Theses are the hands that will work alongside yours, as
together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as
you share your innermost secrets and dreams.
These are the hands you will place with expectant joy
upon your stomach until he, too, feels his child stir within
you.
These are the hands that look so large and strong yet will
be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.
These are the hands that will work long hours for you
and your new family.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the
tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and
hold you when fear or grief engulfs your heart.
These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and
brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his
eyes; eyes that are filled with his overwhelming love and
desire for you.
These are the hands that, when wrinkled and aged, will
still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same
unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
Officiant then speaks to the Groom:
" (Groom)---, please hold (Bride's) ------hands, palms
up so you may see the gift they are to you.
These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young
and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day
as she promises to passionately love you, and cherish you
through the years for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will hold each child in tender
love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting
them and encouraging them along the way, knowing when
it is time to let go.
These are the hands that will massage the tension from
your neck in the evenings after you've both had a long hard
day.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you
struggle through difficult times.
These are the hands that will comfort you when you are
sick, or console you when you are grieving.
These are the hands that will hold you in joy and
excitement and hope each time she tells you that you are to
have a child, that together you have created a new life.
These are the hands that will give you support as she
encourages you to chase down your dreams.
Together, as a team, everything you wish for can be
realized. There is no more I or You---there is only We
and Us.
God, Eternal Spirit, bless these hands that You see
before you this day. May they always be held by one
another. Give them the strength to hold on during the
storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment.
Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in
their wondrous love,
Help these hands to continue building a relationship
founded in Your Grace, rich in caring and devoted in
reaching for Your protection. May
(Groom)---and(Bride)---see their four hands as healer,
protector, shelter and guide. We ask this in the Name of
the Father/Mother God, the Divine Christ and the
Holy Spirit.
(This Ceremony can be revised for those who do not plan
to have children, or who are too old to have any and are
having a Vow Renewal.)
The Wine Ceremony
(This Ceremony was originally a French wine country
tradition, used when the owners of two vineyards, or their
children, were married, to signify their joining. There are
several ways to do this ceremony. Usually, there is both
red and white wine, one signifying the Groom, and one
signifying the Bride. A small table is set up near where
the wedding ceremony will take place. There will be two
small carafes on the table, and a larger one or a wineglass.
Just before the wedding begins, the parents, usually the
fathers or a male member of the families will step up, each
carrying a bottle of wine, and they pour the white wine in
to one small carafe, and the red is put into the other.
OR-------the carafes filled with wine can be carried in
the processional by an attendant of the Bride, and an
attendant of the Groom, and placed on the table when they
reach the Officiant but this can be a bit awkward since the
groomsmen are usually already standing at the altar when
the Bride and her attendants come down the aisle, and the
attendenta are carrying floral bouquets. One way this
could be handled is for the Bridal couple to designate two
particular people to come down the aisle just before the
processional begins, bearing the carafes of wine and who,
then, will place them on the table before taking their seats.
In any case, after the couple have exchanged rings and
spoken their vows, the Officiant announces that they will
have a wine ceremony. There will be a Special
Reading done which talks of the symbolism of the
ceremony. Then the couple go to the table where they both
will pour their own wine from the smaller carafes into the
larger one, thus mingling their lives. The Groom then
pours wine from the Marriage Carafe (the larger one)
into the wine glass. He may then take a sip, perhaps
saying : "Now our lives are one," before giving the glass
to the Bride so she can take a sip. There can also be two
wineglasses, one for the Groom, one for the Bride. The
Groom can pour some wine in the Bride's glass, and she
can pour some into his glass, then each can toast the other
The Officiant can then state:
" This Ceremony represents the two individual live are
now joined, combined like the two wines into one single
life. The drinking of the combined wine signifies the
commitment you now make to live your lives as one
family. May you remember this Day of Love and
Promise always, which you have sealed with drinking of
the new wine joining your lives as one."
The following are Readings that can be done by the
Officiant during the Ceremony:
Reading 1
" The years of life will have some hardships and
disappointments, of which this bitter wine is a symbol, so
remember to forgive the frailties of one another. Bear
together life's adversities and be confidant that the good
will return."
(Groom takes a sip of wine, then hands the glass to
Bride, who takes a sip, then gives it back to Groom.)
Officiant:
The years of life have, indeed, much happiness, joy, hope
and goodness, of which this sweet wine is a token. We ask
that you drink of it together, and as you do, earnestly seek
the power and wisdom to use all the pleasure and
prosperity that may come to you, with gratitude, and with
sympathy for those less fortunate than yourselves."
(Groom sips then hands glass to Bride, who sips then
gives it to Officiant. who then says:)
" As you have shared the wine from these goblets, so may
you share your lives. May you find Life's joys
heightened, its bitterness sweetened, and all of life
enriched by a constant love."
Reading 2
"The years of our lives are as a cup of wine, poured out
for us to drink. As grapes, when they are pressed, give
forth their juices for the wine, so under the winepress of
Time our lives give forth their labou, their honor and their
love.
-----and--------,often in the days to come, you will sit
at the same table and break bread together. drink now, and
may the cup of your lives be sweet and full to overflowing.
As you have shared from this one cup of wine, so may
you draw contentment, comfort and delight from the Cup
of Life. May you find Life's joys heightened, its
bitterness sweetened, and all things hallowed by your
companionship and love."
Reading 3
Long ago wine was revered as the blood of the Earth.
When -----and----pledged themselves to each other, they
drank wine from a single cup, signifying they were
becoming one blood, one family, one kin. Cup--raising
was an invitation to the Gods to witness this oath and
hold the couple to their word.
---and---, you may share this cup in acknowledgement of
the new bond between the two of us.
Reading 4
(This Reading was chosen by one of my couples who
wanted me to also read the poem "Love One Another"
by Kahlil Gibran. The poem is found on page 1 of
Readings and Poetry on this site. The poem speaks of
filling each other's cup but drinking not from only one, to
signify not only their unity but also their individuality.)
The Ceremony Reading is as follows:
"In these glasses are the fruits of God, Mankind and
Mother The years of our lives are like a cup of wine that
is poured out for the sake of labour, honor and love.
Many days will you sit at the same table and eat and
drink together.
Many are the experiences you will share
As with a glass of wine, one of you may find it sweet, the
other perhaps dry or somewhat different. Let the drink
you share today serve as a reminder that although you
may perceive things very differently, being right is never
more important than being happy.
With this space that you give each other, always putting
commitment to love and honor one another first in
everything, your lives together will grow deeper, richer
and greatly satisfying like a rare and fine wine.
Now, ----and----, fill each other's cup and drink from
this Fountain of Love.
You are now joined in one unbroken circle. Where ever
you go, may you always return to one another in your
togetherness. May you two find in each other the love for
which all men and women long.
May you grow in understanding and compassion. May
the home that you establish be such a place of sanctuary
that all who visit will find there a friend.
Jumping The Broom
This is an ancient custom Most people think of the
slaves in the South when they hear this term. The right to
a legal marriage was not given to the slaves in America
as they were considered property in the eyes of the law,
much as all slaves have been considered over the eons of
time when one peoples conquered another.
But the Africans in America had rich ceremonial
rituals in their homeland, and marriage was sacred to them
so they created a new ritual to bond themselves to a mate.
However, "Jumping the Broom" was not only an
African custom------it was also an ancient custom in
Wales and other Celtic countries.
The Broom represents a threshold. There was not
always a priest or priestess available to marry a couple so
branches of birch or oak were placed in the doorway of a
home The couple would jump over it, and were then
considered married.
Another version states that jumping over the broom
represents crossing the threshold into new, uncharted
territory and a new life that will be entwined with another.
It requires a "Leap of Faith", that signifies their
dedication to working together to preserve their
marriage..Brooms are also symbolic of the hearth and
home, the center of the new family that is being created.
The Officiant can say:
"This broom represents a threshold.
---and----, although still individuals, will begin a new
life together with another person, and it requires a "Leap
of Faith." Jumping over the broom represents crossing the
threshold into new territory, into a life that is vitally
connected to another's.
They leave behind the past and jump into the future
together, secure in their love. The leap they take over the
broom is also symbolic in another way, By taking this
leap, they make a gesture of dedication to working together
through the tough times ahead, as well as the easy ones.
Please count with me now and give a shout of joy and
congratulations as they perform their first of working
together as Husband and Wife.
1-2-3---jump! Hooray!
( The broom should be beautifully decorated in colors of
the Bride's choosing and placed in front of them by the
Best Man and Maid of Honor when directed by
Officiant, usually after they have been pronounced
married.)
Breaking The Glass
This is a Jewish custom that is often implemented
intoGentile ceremonies. The glass is usually a light bulb
wrapped in a napkin or towel or in a small plastic bag
which in turn is put into a satin bag that the couple can
keep in memory of the occasion.
The Officiant says words to this effect:
"The Breaking of the Glass serves to remind us of
several important aspects of a marriage. The Bride and
Groom should consider these vows they have taken as an
irrevocable act, just as permanent and final as the breaking
of this glass is unchangeable.
The shattered glass also reminds us how fragile life and
love can be. That sometimes a single thoughtless act,
breach of trust, or marital misstep can damage a marriage
in ways that are very difficult to undo, sometimes
impossible, just as it would be impossible to undo the
breaking of the glass.
It serves as a reminder of the sancity of marriage, and that
the love of the Bride and Groom should last for as long
as it would take to make the glass perfectly whole again.
It also symbolizes the transforming experience that
marriage creates, leaving the Bride and Groom forever
changed. Knowing that this marriage is permanent, the
Bride and Groom should always strive to show each
other the love and respect befitting their spouse and love of
their life.
In a moment , (Groom) will break the glass signifying
the end of the ceremony and the time for celebration..
( Sometimes the Bride and Groom will break the glass
together.)
After glass is broken, everyone shouts: "Mazel Tov!"
which means "Good Luck" and "Congratulations!"
(This ceremony was created by Rev. Falon Moon of the
Church of the Ancient Ways.)
Thirteen Gold Coins Ceremony
This is based on a Roman custom of breaking a piece of
gold or silver in half---one half was kept by the woman
and the other half by the man, as a pledge of marriage.
Now, it's mostly a Spanish/Mexican custom that others
sometimes use because they like the symbolism.
Thirteen gold coins are given by the Groom to the Bride
to signify that he will support her financially.
Often presented in ornate boxes or on gift trays, it
represents the Bride's dowry and holds good wishes for
prosperity. These coins then become part of the family
heirlooms.
The coins are said to represent Christ and His twelve
Disciples, though some versions say the thirteen coins
represent the twelve lunar cycles in a year plus their
honeymoon.
At any rate, the coins are presented to Officiant by a
friend, relative or the Best Man before the ceremony to
be blessed. They are then placed on a tray with a
beautifully decorated box and held by an assistant until
near the end of the ceremony when the Officiant asks for
them. The Officiant places the coins into the box and
hands it to the Groom who pours them from the box into
the cupped hands of the Bride, and pledges that he places
all his goods into her care and safekeeping as a symbol of
his unquestionable trust and confidence as the Officiant
explains the he recognizes his responsibility as a provider
and pledges his ability to support and care for the Bride
and their children. Her acceptance of the coins means
taking that trust and confidence unconditionally with total
dedication and prudence.
Ceremony of the Lasso (Cord)
After the exchange of vows, and while the couple are
kneeling during the Wedding Prayer, a large loop of
rosary beads or white satin cord is placed in a figure eight
shape around the necks of the Bride and Groom to show
their unity. The eight also represents Infinity and
permanence.
During the Prayer special members of the Wedding
Party, usually Best Man and Maid of Honor take the
cord or beads and drape it around the shoulders of the
kneeling couple, the Groom's shoulder first, or it may be
tied around their wrists. They wear the lasso throughout
the remainder of the service as a symbol of their love
which should bind them together every day as they equally
share the responsibilities of marriage for the rest of their
the end of the ceremony the Best Man and Maid of
Honor remove the cord or beads and the Lasso is given to
the Bride as a memento of her becoming the mistress of
the Groom's heart and home and shows their promise to
always be together
The Ceremonial Dove Release
Officiant:
" Once the Lord of Heaven chose two doves, both young
and fair,
and told them of a very special journey they would share.
"Go now upon the Earth and see two hearts where you
may dwell,
and there I shall surely come and make my home with
you as well.
We'll join the two and make them one,
a Husband and his Wife,
My Spirit will endow their love with everlasting Life.
Today the doves will bring the Sacred Promise from
above,
to those whose hearts are open to the Miracle of Love.
The Ceremonial DoveRelease has been a custom for
centuries, The Noblemen of old released the dove as a
symbol of their eternal love for their brides, for doves
choose one partner for life and make this commitment until
death. The White Dove has been used throughout history
as a symbol of love, peace, purity, faithfulness and
prosperity. It is said that if doves are seen on your
wedding day, a happy home is assured. These birds
released here today represent the love and commitment you
have given to one another this day. From this day forward,
whenever you see a white dove, may you be reminded of
this moment.
The release of doves in ceremonies extends the message of
Peace, the celebration of Life and the expression of love.
Releasing doves uplifts the eyes, signifies new
beginnings, a true celebration in flight. In Scripture doves
are more numerous than all other species. Luke 3"22
states "the heavens opened and the Holy Spirit descended
on Him in the form of a dove." Doves are a symbol of
Peace, and the presence of the Spirit. They have been
chosen by God to be His Messenger of the Day.
May they bring peace and everlasting love to ---and---."
Butterfly Release Ceremony
Legend of the Butterfly:
According to an American Indian Legend, if anyone
desires a wish to come true, they must first capture a
butterfly and whisper that wish to it. Since a butterfly can
make no sound, it cannot reveal the wish to anyone but the
Great Spirit who hears and sees all. In gratitude for
giving the beautiful butterfly its freedom, the Great Spirit
always grants the wish. So, according to legend, by
making a wish and giving the butterfly its freedom, the
wish will be taken to the heavens and granted, We have
gathered to grant this couple all our best wishes and are
about to set these butterflies free in trust that all these
wishes will be granted by the great Spirit.
From the Cycles of Life come Circles of Love
and we give our thanks to the Spirit of All
for such gifts from above.
From Nature;s own beauty come uplifting feelings, from
the flight of these magnificent creatures may you find
Life's true meanings. And as these creatures escape to
the Light, may the promise of tomorrow always be bright.
Let them carry our hopes for what the future may bring,
and may your love be uplifted on these Butterfly Wings.
Handfasting Ceremony
This is an ancient bethrothal/wedding ritual that, in the
usual sense, would bind a couple for a year and a day.
After that time, if they felt they did not suit each other,
they could part ways or go on to have a legal wedding. It
was very popular in Medieval and Renaissance times as
well as the Elizabethan Age. In the British Isles it
was the old pagan wedding ritual and it remained legal in
Scotland till 1939 especially in the border town of
Gretna Green where many couples went to do their own
ceremony when their families objected to their marriage.
In many cases, all a couple had to do to be considered
married was to declare that they took each other for their
spouse. An actual Handfasting is the act of tying a
couple's hands or wrists together in a special ceremony.
This is where the tern "tie the knot" comes from. Many
couples in modern times are fascinated by the lovely ritual
and like to incorporate it into an actual wedding ceremony.
It can also be done as an Engagement Ceremony. So I
have included it as a Special Add--On Ceremony to give
couples an additional choice. It, too, can be modified to
suit the tastes of a couple. Usually, six cords, either
white or in color, will be draped, one at a time, over the
hands of the Bridal Couple as they say special vows.
This signifies the binding of their lives together.
Officiant:
"Know now before you go further that since your lives
have crossed in this life you have formed ties between
each other. As you seek to enter this state of Matrimony,
you should strive to make it real, the ideal which you give
meaning to both the ceremony and the institution of
Marriage.
With full awareness, know that within this circle you are
not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your
friends and family but you speak that intent also to your
higher creative powers and to the Great Spirit of all Life.
The promises that are made here today and the ties that
are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will
cross the years and lives of each soul's growth.
Knowing this, do you still seek to enter this union?
Response: "We do.'
In times past it was believed that the human soul shared
characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief that
assigned virtues to the cardinal directions of
East--South--West---and North. It is in this tradition
that a blessing is offered in support of this ceremony.
Blessed be this Union with the gifts of the East:
Communication of the heart, mind body and spirit; fresh
beginnings with the rising of each sun, the knowledge of
the growth found in the sharing of silence.
Blessed be this Union with the gifts of the South:
The warmth of the hearth and home; the heat of the heart's
passion; the comfort to be found in the homeplace; the
Light created by both that will brighten the darkest of
times.
Blessed be this Union with the gifts of the West:
The deep commitments of the lake, the swift excitement of
the river, the refreshing cleansing of the rain; the
all---encompassing passion of the sea; the deep emotion
felt when two people are as one
Blessed be this Union with the gifts of the North:
A firm foundation on which to build, the fertikity of the
fields to enrich your lives, a stable home to which you may
always return.
Each of these blessings from the four points of the world
emphasizes those things which will help you build a happy
and successful marriage. Yet they are only tools---tools
which you must use together in order to create what you
seek in this union.
I bid you look into each other's eyes:
1:
(To Groom: ) "Will you cause her pain?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Bride: ) "Will you cause him pain?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Both: ) "Will you share each other's pain and seek
to ease it?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made. Join your hands."
(The first cord is draped over their hands)
2:
(To Groom:) "Will you share her laughter?"
Response: "Yes"
(To Bride:) "Will you share his laughter?"
Response: "Yes."
(To Both:) "Will you both look for the brightness in
life, and the positive in each other?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made."
(The second cord is draped over their hands.)
3:
(To Groom:) "Will you burden her?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Bride:) "Will you burden him?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Both:) "Will you share the burdens of each other
that your spirits may grow in this marriage?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made."
(Third cord is draped over their hands.)
4:
(To Groom:) "Will you share her dreams?"
Response: "I will."
(To Bride:) "Will you share his dreams?"
Response: "I will."
(To Both:) "Will you dream together to share new
realities and hopes?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made."
(Fourth cord is draped over their hands.)
5:
(To Groom:) "Will you cause her anger?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Bride:) "Will you cause him anger?"
Response: "I may."
"Is that your intent?"
Response: "No."
(To Both:) "Will you take the heat of this anger and
use it to temper the strength of this union?"
Response: "We will."
"And so the binding is made."
(Fifth cord is drapes over their hands.)
6:
(To Groom:) "Will you honor her?"
Response: "I will."
(To Bride:) "Will you honor him?"
Response: "I will."
(To Both:) "Will you seek to never give cause to break
that honor?"
Response: "We shall never do so.."
"And so the binding is made."
(Sixth cord is draped over their hands. Tie the cords
together while saying:)
"The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords,
but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the
cords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the
making or breaking of this union."
"Above you are the stars, below you are the stones.
As time doth pass, remember this:
Like a stone should your love be firm.
Like a star, should your love be constant.
Let the powers of the mind and the intellect guide you in
your marriage.
Let the strength of your wills bind you together.
Let the power of love and desire make you happy,
and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable.
Be close but not too close.
Possess one another but be understanding.
Have patience with one another, for storms will come
but they will pass quickly.
Be free in giving affection and warmth,
Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened
give you unease, for God, our Father/Mother is with you
always."
(To Groom:)
"I have not the right to bind you to------(Bride),
only you have that right. If this be your wish, say so at
this time."
(Groom:) "It is my wish."
"Then place the ring, an unbroken circle, representing
Eternal Love, on her finger and repeat after me:
"I,-----, in the Name of the Spirit of god that resides
within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and
the love that is within my heart, take thee,----------.to
my hand, my heart and my spirit to be my chosen spouse.
To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess thee and
be possessed by thee. I promise to love thee, wholly and
completely, without restraint, in sickness and in health, in
plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall
meet, remember and love again. I shall not seek to change
thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy
people and thy ways as I respect myself."
(The Bride speaks the same vows, after which the cords
are untied and removed from their hands and given to them
to keep. They are then presented to everyone as Husband
and Wife, if this is a legal wedding.)
Holy Communion
The Bride and Groom may receive Holy Communion,
if they wish, after the exchange of rings, and if they desire,
it can also be offered to the ones attending the wedding.
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